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danny541, Parenting Answer Team
Category: Parenting
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Experience:  Have 5 children !
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We have a 19 yr old grandson living with us who is severely

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We have a 19 yr old grandson living with us who is severely depressed, but won't get help. No one will help us because of his age..He is very arrogant to us and tells us all what he is and isn't going to do..He is not living at home because his mother has a 9 yr old daughter and he creates an environment that is not suitable for her.. He wasn't this way until going to his first year of college (far from home) and dropping out of classes after one month..My husbanc and I both are in our early sixties and still try to maintain our jobs..He has worn us all down..Please give us some direction..

Thank you...
Hello and welcome to Just Answer!

Did something happen the month he was in school? Drugs? Loss of a friend or girlfriend?

Has he always been depressed or did it start after the month?

Is he willing to get help?

Customer: replied 8 years ago.

He says he has always felt this way, but we sure didn't know it..He is not willing to get help, his mother has made several psychologists appointments but he won't keep them.

He has admitted to smoking pot since high school which is devastating to us..He lies quite a bit and has been/is somewhat promiscuous..We are worried sick/to death but can't get through to him..

You will have to use tough love on him, since he will do nothing for himself!

The longer he stays this way the worse it will get, the smoking pot makes depression worse,and these other things can also lead into it!

Stand up for yourself and let your grandson know unless he is actively seeking help,you can no longer help him, with a place to live or money or whatever all you do for him!

He must go out and get a job,and help out with the household bills,and begin to do things for himself!

As grandparents and even parents, we are not going to be around forever, and even if we leave the kids enough money to support themselves, the money will be gone and then what?

Sit him down parents and grandparents, let him know that you love him very much, but he must seek help now and start to make his own decisions on how to start doing things to support himself!

Be firm and don't waver, if you do, he'll remain this way until he has had enough!

If you need to discuss this further, or have additional questions,please ask!

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