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Cher, Teacher
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 21388
Experience:  Extensive Experience working with Children/Teens; M.A. Teacher/Tutor 40+ yrs.; Parent of 2
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I am pregnant with my ex partners child. He wants the baby

Customer Question

I am pregnant with my ex partners child. He wants the baby to take his surname, be present at the birth, and see it as often as he likes. I am sure this is simply a ploy to make himself present in my life as he didnt want to split up. He has another child from a previous relationship and doesnt have this attitude towards the other child. Does he have the right to have a say in the childs name or be present at the birth? Can he be granted parental responsibility before the baby is born?
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Cher replied 8 years ago.

What caused your break-up?

How do you feel about the child having his surname and him being present at the birth? Do you want this?

Customer: replied 8 years ago.

The reason for the break up was simply that we were completely not suited and incompatible. The baby wasn't planned and I found out I was pregnant 2 weeks after we split. At this time, I attended an abortion clinic but was informed that I was 15 weeks pregnant so decided to keep the baby. I would rather he wasnt involved at all with the child, but understand this isn't possible, as I know he has some rights, but I am unclear as to whether he has the right to force his name upon my child. And I certainly dont want him present at the birth.
Expert:  Cher replied 8 years ago.
Hello again, and thanks for your reply with additional information.

Because you are not married, the child does not have to take his name, however, he can be listed as the father on the birth certificate, if you so choose, and that would give him more rights in the child's life. You would have to consult with an attorney in your State, to find out exactly what rights he would have, if he is definitely the father.

If you do not want him present at the birth, that is your right, and you do not have to allow him to be present.

I wish you much good luck and hope everything turns out well for you and your baby.