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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, #1 Just Answer Parenting Expert
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Just Answer Parenting Mentor, Emotional, Behavioral & Physical Issues. Babies to Teens.
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I have a son who will be 4 years old in a few weeks and his

Resolved Question:

I have a son who will be 4 years old in a few weeks and his mother and I just separated in Jan. She is living with another man. She is allowing this man to give my son his bath at night I just want to know is this ok for my son or is it going to effect him in any way.
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 8 years ago.

Did he know this man prior to January?

Have you talked to her about it?

How did you find out about it?

How long has she known this man?

Customer: replied 8 years ago.
To my knowledge my son had met this man in November or December. I have talked to her about it and we don't agree. I found out about this because we were on the phone talking about choosing his pre-school and she said that our son was giving this guy a hard time getting out of the tub downstairs so she had to go. She has known him since high school. about 10 years.
Customer: replied 8 years ago.
Relist: I still need help.
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 8 years ago.

I would agree that she is jumping the gun allowing this other person do something that is so personal with the child. Its not simply because there is always the danger of something inappropriate happening, but because the man is literally a stranger to him. A few months is not enough time to get to know someone so intimately, and although she has known this man for a long time, she should allow the child more time than a few months. I think it would have been better to not be living with him so soon after the break up, and that will likely wind up affecting him far more than the bath. Children are usually pretty open about baths, running around nude, etc and don't make the kinds of connections we do, so for now it probably wont harm him if this guy is on the 'up and up' and is safe to be around him. Your son still needs you to be a presence in his life and hopefully she wouldn't push this other man as a replacement for you. You know your wife the best, XXXXX XXXXX would be better suited to judge her taste in people and her ability to protect your son. It's a touchy situation, and the best thing for you is to keep an open mind and an open heart with your son so that he knows he can talk to you about anything and everything. If things go wrong in his life, you want to be the go-to guy, and he knows you will listen without judgment and back him up regardless. I hope I have addressed your question. I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more.


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