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danny541, Parenting Answer Team
Category: Parenting
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Experience:  Have 5 children !
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My 14 year old daughter is growing up fast. I caught her with

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My 14 year old daughter is growing up fast. I caught her with pictures she took of herself twice on her mobile. She is stealing from me and I have tried all the usual things and nothing seems to work. She can be the best daughter in the world but she can also be the worst. She has a brother 16 and a little sister 11. Is it middle child syndrome?
Hello and welcome to Just Answer!

Has any sort of problems come up for your daughter in the last year? Problems in the family that might have affected her in some way?

How are her grades in school, any problems there?

What did she say about the pictures and stealing?

Is your husband and you still together?

Any problems with the other kids?
Customer: replied 8 years ago.
Me and my husband have been married for 19 years. Work and live on a farm. Moved to Scotland from Northern Ireland in 2007 and the kids have all settled very well. Havent looked back. We used to milk cows and now we dont. We are not half as stressed as we were - farm going well.
She has a job at weekeds in a cafe and loves it. She has made lots of friends and grades are good - clever without much effort. She has been stealing for years - nothing to do with the move !
Other kids are fine. We are a good family unit.
I dont know what to do next. Have tried all the usual - to get mutual respect etc.
she can be such a lovely girl. Growing up fast - a young lady now - well developed.
She may be growing to fast. Girls are under a lot of peer pressure now day's to grow up to quick. Farm life can be totally different from her working in a cafe where she meet's all manner of young people and even older men who would take advantage of her.

Sometimes its because they won't realize she is still a child. She probably doesn't think of her self as still a child, if she has matured quickly at a young age.Many times the body will look like an adult when she still has the mind of a child playing adult games.

The stealing could be a yearning to want better things in life than what she is accustomed to. It could be she wants better clothes, things in life that seem so tempting that in her mind she really thinks she needs, it could also be partly being the middle child also.

If possible you need to nip this all in the bud, get to the bottom of why she is stealing and is she sending these pictures to anyone else.

I suggest that you take her for counseling or a pastor who she trusts. Find out why she is doing these things, there is a reason behind it, you will need to dig.

She is young enough that if she receives help now, she will overcome these things, before it goes any farther. She is working so there is always the chance she may still from her job, or other people. Once you start its hard to quit.

Let me know if you have further questions on this or if there are other concerns you would like to discuss. I'm here for you!

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Customer: replied 8 years ago.
Many thanks
Your very welcome! And good luck to you! Parenting is tough but you'll get through it!