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Charlene Hertzberg
Charlene Hertzberg, Child care provider, parent, teache
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 44
Experience:  22 years of experience working with children, formerly worked as a parental advisor
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my 19 yr old college student son, who lives at home, has his

Resolved Question:

my 19 yr old college student son, who lives at home, has his 1st "real" girlfriend. I knocked on his door at midnight and they were in his bed, light off but with clothes on. I told them this was unacceptable to me and I didn't want them putting themselves in a tempting position. I'm upset about a couple of things: my son wasn't raised this way and I told him it was disrespectful to me, him and the girl. Also, I can't believe the girl was okay behaving that way in my home! How should I handle this and what should I say?
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Charlene Hertzberg replied 8 years ago.

It sounds to me like you have handled the situation quite well. They are now aware that this is going to be unacceptable to you. I'm sure your son knew he was pushing what you'd be okay with, but it is quite possible that his girlfriend thought they were okay since they were both clothed. I would let your son know that you still feel very uncomfortable about this, and that he needs to be much more careful, especially in your home, and then I would recommend you give him the benefit of the doubt that as an adult he will reconsider his choice and make the right decision. If he does not and this continues to be an issue, you may need to not allow him to have her in his room.



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