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danny541, Parenting Answer Team
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 909
Experience:  Have 5 children !
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im at my witts end, my whole family is suffering. My son does

Customer Question

im at my witts end, my whole family is suffering. My son does not know when to stop talking-He is constantly picking at his sister and she is only 5. She has learned the behaviour from him and in turn is very defensive the minute he walks in the room-For the last three years steady he has stayed overnight at his grandmothers-i cant seem to get a straight answer from him why-but he has her influence as well-which is not neccessarily good. She holds anomosity towards me. He cant get along with his step dad-He treats us with no respect at all and talks trash to us all the time-plz help-our family is falling apart from all the yelling and hollering
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  danny541 replied 8 years ago.
Hello and welcome to Just Answer!

Why did he move in with his grandmother? How old is he?

Is the sister a half sibling?

Where is his dad ?

Why is grandmother angry with you?
Customer: replied 8 years ago.
he didnt move in with his gram he goes there to sleep at night. He is 13. The sister is a half sibling but have been raised as brother and sisiter. His dad is in the picture however, he only spends 3 hrs a week with him-his father is a good provider but not actually really active is his life. Although he takes him every week for 3 hrs. My issues with my mother go way back to childhood-we;ve always had a strained relationship
Customer: replied 8 years ago.

i want to make sure my answer will be emailed to me in case i have to close this page


Expert:  danny541 replied 8 years ago.
Just Answer will alert you when you have an answer, here it is!

You need to get the entire family into counseling! Your son is very angry about something! Maybe something your mother has said, maybe because your attention has been taken from him and now must be shared with a sister, that he doesn't want to be a part of his life right now!

Your mother and you need to confront what your problems are and resolve them, someday she or you won't be around and when that happens you can't go back and make it right. You need to find out why the problems exist and if they are flowing over onto your son, and making him the way he is.

He should not be spending every night with your mother, he is your son, and the problems with him need to be worked through so you can live a peaceful life with both your children. You don't mention if there is a step-father in the picture, could it be conflict between them is why he isn't at home!

Still the answer is to get into counseling now, before it goes any farther and you have a worse problem on your hands. Get to the bottom of why he is angry!

If you have further thought on this , lets discuss it! If it answers your questions, please click the green accept button! But i'm here if you want to further discuss this !
Customer: replied 8 years ago.
there is a stepdad involved, They use to get along like a pair of old shoes. But the disrespect has become so bad that Chris has become hardened by it. He loves Keyan but we all want to be happier and really dont know where to turn. Why the whole family? There are two other children from chris' first marriage involved as well-We've all benn together for about 8 years.
Customer: replied 8 years ago.
can this answer be sent to my email. i hava an appointment i nedd to get to
Expert:  danny541 replied 8 years ago.
You will be sent an alert that your answer is ready to view, just don't delete it!

Are the other two children living with you too?

What stop step dad and son from being friendly, and certain time area or something that you can remember that happened to change it?
Expert:  danny541 replied 8 years ago.
I said the entire family, because you said your mom and you have a strained relationship. Plus when a child and the whole family have problems, its the entire family that needs counseling!
Customer: replied 8 years ago.
im talking about my family. Not my Moms-Trying to go that route with my mom is impossible-she doesnt see anything wrong with the way she is-I think its just too late for her and i but, i want to salvage my relationship with my son. I know i should keep him home with me but that would involve breaking his heart. he and mom have a very strong bond
Expert:  danny541 replied 8 years ago.
I don't think it would be a good idea to keep him away from your mom entirely! But start to limit how often he is away from home. Start with one day a week, that you can do things with him, a movie or possibly just time spent doing something with him!

He's 13 now, he's at the age where no matter what you do, he's going to resent it some, but the counseling is important, if you have a Pastor, go to him, or her and explain what is going on and you need help, or check into a counseling center for you and him and I'm sure that the counselor will want to talk to your husband too at some point, it takes a whole family to heal, its not just the two of you who are hurting.

As for your mother, its never too late too heal, if she wants too.