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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, #1 Just Answer Parenting Expert
Category: Parenting
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Experience:  Just Answer Parenting Mentor, Emotional, Behavioral & Physical Issues. Babies to Teens.
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Im the father of a 3 year old daughter who is

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I'm the father of a 3 year old daughter who is struggleing with potty training. Since we started intense potty training she has slowly picked up on certain parts very well but others are a dead end. As it stands now she will use her potty chair or a regular toilet while awake for peeing only as long as she is wearing underware and not a diaper (she never got the concept of pull ups) and with that she will never pee in her underware so she is pretty much trained in that area. However with pooping it is a whole new battle. She hardly ever poops in the potty chair and she has been highly praised when she does. Instead she waits until it is time to nap or go to bed with a diaper on. I'v caught her pooping and peeing in the diaper b4 she even falls asleep. I know she would still go in her undys but I can't be sure if a lot of it happens while she is asleep. Where should I go from here?

Hello Canav,

Many children don't 'get' the concept of pull ups, to them, it's just a diaper. Do you want me to pee in my pants or not? In my opinion giving the pull ups, sort of gives them permission, but I also know children who adjusted very well with them, so it really depends on the child. I'm going to give you some suggestions, but it really boils down to the fact that when she is ready, she will go. You've done everything you are supposed to do on your end, but she's the one not quite ready to give in. Some children has a real issue with seeing the bm go down the toilet, it feels like they are letting go of a part of themselves, which is scary.

  • Have you tried buying underwear with her favorite characters on them? Batman, Dora, Spongebob, sometimes the thought of them pooping on their favorite characters will have them running to the bathroom.
  • Ask her to tell you when she has to go bm. If she can get in the habit of telling you, then you can get her to the potty on time. Additionally, if she is regular and you know when she's going to go, (for example, right after dinner) then you can sit her on the potty, give her a book or magazine and just let her sit there for a while.
  • I haven't tried it, but I've heard it suggested that when she does a bm in her diaper, to help her out of the diaper and give her a warm washcloth and let her clean herself. She may be less inclined to poop in her pants if she has to get intimately involved in cleaning it up. Of course you'll have to finish it off, but let her try to clean as much as she can.
  • You can put together a shoe box filled with dollar store toys. Make a calendar or use a regular calendar, and every day she can go without pooping in a diaper, or every day she poops in the potty or toilet, then she can get a gold star. 7 gold stars in a row, and she can get a toy out the shoe box.
  • Have mommy and daddy show her their bm before they flush. I know it sounds gross, but if you can say, "oh wow, daddy made a bm, now I'm going to flush....1....2....3....FLUUUUSSSHHHH" and clap and make a big deal out of it, you may be able to psych her into wanting to do the same thing.
  • Make up a potty/poop song. For some reason kids respond greatly to songs. Look online (google, ebay, amazon) for books and songs about pooping.

I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more.



Another expert made a point that I forgot to mention. You may want to invest in plastic sheets and forgo the diapers at night period. No liquids for two hrs before going to bed or nap.

Do you have any other questions?


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Customer: replied 9 years ago.
thanks and sorry bout the delay my computer crashed hardcore.


Thank you, I'm sorry to hear about your computer. Please feel free to request me by name anytime you have a question. If I can't help, I'll be sure to find you someone who can.