I apologize for the delay, I had an emergency and had to run out.
Let me start off by saying that, no, this is not necessarily a sign of homosexuality. This behavior, or curiosity is actually quite normal, but you will want to keep your eye on him and talk to him (more than twice). Talking about sex should be an ongoing conversation that minimally should continue till he's 18 and sometimes after that if he needs to talk. You should be talking to him about sex, sexuality, girls, babies, genitals, etc, at least every 4 months. Each time it doesn't have to be a huge conversation or 'sex' talk. Just curious questions on your part. Create a list of questions to ask him, right now, this could include
- do any of your friends have girlfriends/boyfriends
- do any girls like you in school
- do you remember what we talked about re good touching vs not good touching
and basically whatever he wants to talk about. Ask him if he has any questions. Answer and talk without judging and he will continue to open up to you more and more as time goes on.
You say that the other boy has severe adhd problems, but consider that it's possible this boy may have been molested at one point, either by an adult or another child. It could be at the root of his adhd problems. You may not be able to know for sure, but you now know what this other boy is capable of, so you will want to act accordingly. They may have to play downstairs when you are downstairs and upstairs when you are upstairs. Let your son know on no uncertain terms that he is not to go in the bathroom with another child, girl or boy, unless its a public bathroom with multiple stalls (like school). Not sleeping in the same bed, or better yet, the same room, goes without saying.
Let your son know that you're not mad at him, just a little disappointed that he would show such disregard for the home that you share. Take away his camera privileges until he gets a little older. Ask him did he think at the time that what they were doing is ok. Ask him if he felt bad about it. Ask him did he know that it was wrong to touch another persons genitals at this age, or even taking pictures and most of all the kind of trouble he could get you in with the other parents, and god forbid the authorities if they were to somehow see these pictures on your camera or computer!?! It's scary to even think about it.
Unless it happens again, I wouldn't consider a psychologist. Telling the other boys parents is important, so that they can watch him and talk to him. You may also want to talk to him the next time he comes over (if you have him back) and let him know what is and is not allowed in your home. As for restricting play, thats your call as well. It's obvious they may need a little tighter supervision. Perhaps no more sleepovers for a while, but it's your call. I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more.