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I'm having problems w my 19yo stepson, he doesnt respect me.

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I'm having problems w...
I'm having problems w my 19yo stepson, he doesnt respect me. He's been living wiih   us frm the age of 8yo. anything I say bothers him he is lazy, doesnt do anything in the hse just free loader, no college niether. I know it's my husband fault   We had a big argument recently and I told him he has to leave he house. so my husband sts will leave with him because that is his son, we have a 14yo son together. Want you suggest?
Submitted: 11 years ago.Category: Parenting
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Answered in 12 hours by:
5/31/2006
Parenting Counselor: Marie, Minister/mother replied 11 years ago
Marie
Marie, Minister/mother
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 714
Experience: Minister, counselor, works with women and addiction
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I suggest you speak to your husband and come up with a plan. Allowing the 19 year old to be lazy and not work or go to school is not going to help him in the future. This is also not setting up as a good role model for the 14 year old. Does you husband think this is a good thing? You need to ask him what he thinks is the best and try to get a united front on this. This kid is headed for trouble with no motivation and little ambition. The 14 year old needs to be in a more stable environment then the two of you fighting and you husband threatening to leave. This is certainly unnerving to the younger one if he thinks his father will leave him over his half brother. Try to find a workable plan. Maybe your step-son can work part time with his father or a family friend. Maybe in a local store or restaurant. Even pumping gas or as a mechanics aid. It sounds like your step son has a chip on his shoulder and is not about to listen to you. The kid could make things very difficult for you and your son. Try to speak to your husband alone and explain how you can not accept this kind of behavior. He may feel, that you have for the past 11 years, it will not change now. You may have to take him up on his threat to leave. It is obvious if he does, he has made up his mind which he perfers. In that case, you can move on with your life and your son and not have such upheaval around your other son. This will take some very serious discussion between you and your husband. Good Luck, if you have any other questions, please ask.

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Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 714
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Experience: Minister, counselor, works with women and addiction

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