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Ask Dr. Norm S. Your Own Question
Dr. Norm S.
Dr. Norm S., Board Certified OB/GYN
Category: OB GYN
Satisfied Customers: 11244
Experience:  Over 30 years of experience in OB/GYN practice, including teaching students. Fellow of American Board of Obstetrics and Gynecology.
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Why can't I masturbate? I am 21 years old. I find things, I

Customer Question

Why can't I masturbate?
I am 21 years old. I find things sexy, I get turned on. I even feel like doing something, ANYTHING, to relieve the pressure.
I have looked for online help, and I am doing it properly, according to what steps and tips I get there. I have asked my mother for advice, and she has told me she never masturbated, so she wouldn't know. My Aunt says that it is wrong and sinful, and I can t because God doesn't want me too. THAT I know is hogwash.
I am well beyond frustrated now. I have only managed once in my life to achieve any sort of pleasure, and it was an accident when I was 7. Since then, nothing.
Am I doing something wrong? Is there a certain way to go about this? Why can't I stimulate myself at all? Why can't my boyfriend stimulate me past a tickle? Does this mean I will never be able to enjoy sexual acts in my future, or with my partner?
I know I am young, but I worry. I have Peripheral Nerve Disorder, and I am afraid it will stop me from ever living my life as a normal adult woman.
Please help. I have been struggling with this question for years, and now the lack of effective, or decisive answer has begun to get to me.
I'm sorry if this is long, I am just frustrated and worried.
Thank you.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: OB GYN
Expert:  Dr. Norm S. replied 1 year ago.

Do you not get any pleasure from touching your clitoris?

Have you tried a vibrator?

Have you ever been sexually abused? Thank you.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I don't get pleasure from touching my clitoris. I have tried a vibrator, but it doesn't do much.I have been, but not to a mahor extent. It was just carresses of the shoulder and thigh. My piano teacher at the time did it. I was too naive to even realize that is what it was. I always just thpught he was calming me down when I got frustrated. I only found out later when it came up in the news and he used a detailed description of the events in his testimony. Including what I was wearing. Could that have something to do with it?
Expert:  Dr. Norm S. replied 1 year ago.

It doesn't sound to me like the touching you experienced could be the source of this problem.

I suspect that your peripheral nerve disorder may be the most likely culprit. If you don't receive the normal signals from your genital area, you won't have the usual response.

I am no expert on peripheral nerve disorders. I would discuss this with a neurologist.

I don't think that you're doing anything wrong. Many women have a problem with reaching orgasm. For the average woman, it's mostly a matter of exploring what feels good and what feels sexual and is a turn on.

If you try exploring and can't find anything that really feels good and sexual and exciting, the two possibilities are that there is a block, either locally or in your brain.

The block in your brain would usually come from some bad past experience, such as sexual abuse. If you think there might be something like that, the best way to figure it out is usually by talking to a therapist.

If the block is due to poor signals from the peripheral nerves, perhaps a neurologist would have some answers for you. Best wishes.