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Dr. C.
Dr. C., Board Certified
Category: OB GYN
Satisfied Customers: 2537
Experience:  30 years of experience and an award-winning educator.
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My friend is in what many of us fear is an abusive

Customer Question

My friend is in what many of us fear is an abusive situation. She was pregnant with twins and is approximately 19 weeks along. She shared with me that her husband is insisting on having sex literally six to ten times daily. Yes, you read that correctly. She told me that her vagina is raw, and she experiences no enjoyment, but rather just pain. She went in for an ultrasound this last week and they found that one of the children had not heartbeat. It was estimated that he had been dead for about two weeks. My question. Is it safe for her to continue having sexual intercourse this frequently, it at all? I ask because I fear that she is not being completely open with her OB about her sex life, and I want to be sure that this is not putting the last child at risk.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: OB GYN
Expert:  Dr. Norm S. replied 2 years ago.

You are correct that your friend is in an abusive marriage. For him to insist on intercourse when she is raw and it's painful for her is abuse.

I don't think that the continued sex will necessarily put the last child at risk, but I would worry about both the child and its mother after the birth. A man who is abusive to his wife is likely to be abusive to his children.

I think that your friend needs counseling to figure out why she stays in an abusive relationship, or to help her to get out, if that's what she wants.

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
As in any abusive relationship, it is up to the victim to decide when they have had enough. Currently I am the only one she confides to, so I am alone in knowing she is being physically abused. Her stress level is through the roof, she is working 12 hour shifts three and four days a week, and she is not getting her caloric daily requirement. Add to it this guy's crazy appetite for sex, and I just felt I should ask if it was safe.
Expert:  Dr. Norm S. replied 2 years ago.

I understand, and I agree that it's up to her. She' fortunate to have you for a friend.

It doesn't sound safe, but it probably is not hurting the unborn child.