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Ask Dr. D. Love Your Own Question
Dr. D. Love
Dr. D. Love, Doctor
Category: OB GYN
Satisfied Customers: 18531
Experience:  Family Physician for 10 years; Hospital Medical Director for 10 years.
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I have been with my fiance now for 8 years. Living together

Customer Question

I have been with my fiance now for 8 years. Living together 5 years. We have yet to ever have intercourse and I have never been able to finger her either. She has never been able to stick a tampon in either. She has tried going to the gyno but has never been able to have the procedure done because she is scared to have anything go inside her. The gyno was wanting to know if she was rapped. It was very uneasy for her. She has not been and she does not know why she has this mind block with her vagina. We are getting married soon and I'm afraid we will never be able to have sex. She will get on my penis and slide back n fourth on. But when I go to stick it in or try to put my finger any lower than her clit she gets worked up and clenched her legs and thighs together. She hasn't been able to have a proper gyno visit to see if there is anything wrong with her physically. She has no medical history or any kind of anxiety. A doctor has prescribed her a light dose of medication for her to take before going to the gyno. It did not work. She also took it before trying to have sex and it also did not work. She thinks she may be swollen down there hence the pain but I don't see anything swollen. I have noticed she is always very dry and never ever wet. What options do we have. We would like to have a normal sex life. Not sure if she needs a hymentectomy or not. She says she is swollen but I don't see this when looking. Previous attempt at the gynecologist have failed. She breaks down and crystal because she doesn't want to be like this. Can anyone put her asleep so she can have a simple check up to determine what is wrong with her? She claims she also has a mental block as well.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: OB GYN
Expert:  Dr. D. Love replied 2 years ago.
Hello from JustAnswer.
It is very unusual for a woman to be sedated to allow for a Gyn exam, but it may be done in extraordinary circumstances, although doctors will usually want to exhaust other options first.
If there is spasm of the muscles around the opening of the vagina, it may be felt as swelling, even though there is no noticeable swelling on external exam. This spasm can occur from anxiety or other psychologic conditions. When this happens, there are techniques that can be used by a therapist, such as biofeedback, to try to ease the spasm.
If she has already tried or will try interventions that are used by a therapist, then her OBGyn may be willing to consider procedural sedation to perform a complete exam.
If I can provide any further information, please let me know.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
She needs to get looked at but this has failed many times. What do u recommend? She clenches her legs together as soon as she thinks something may go inside her. She takes a breather and doc try again. After many failed attempt and a aggravated doc they tell us to go to therapy. I can't beleive that is only option....?
Expert:  Dr. D. Love replied 2 years ago.
Therapy is not the only option, but it is the next option. By the use of certain techniques, the therapist can help with relief of the problem, such as by using biofeedback. Once the biofeedback or other technique has been successful, then a complete exam may be able to be done without procedural sedation. If these techniques are not successful, then her Gyn may be willing to consider procedural sedation to perform an exam, but most doctors will want to try other options before resorting to procedural sedation.