New Zealand Law
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As the grandparent you do have an important role with visits and contact. The parents will need to resolve the parenting arrangements, and the test is what is in the childrens best interests. So the relationships are important, which include both parents and the grandparents and the gaol is to ensure that the arrangements are what the children need rather than what the parents want. There are no fixed rules about this, because each case depends so much on the facts in each case. the best plan is to avoid conflict and ensure the parenting plan does work and is practical. The first step must be FDR family mediation where about 80% of these cases are settled. This is started by the parents so you need to be kept in the loop with the mediation so you can be heard.
Sadly if mediation doesnt work then you will need to have a court case where the judge will direct the contact and parenting, likely with the aid of a lawyer for the children and if needed other expert reports. You will be entitled to have input in such a court case