New Zealand Law
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You will have had advice that it is possible to attack family trusts, although your situation is clearly quite complicated. Possibly the most effective way to progress any settlement would be to start with a mediation, which would be much less expensive than litigation through the family Court or the High Court. I don't know if you have discussed this with your lawyers, but once you have all the information ready to make a claim, then you can make a formal proposal to him that you settle the relationship property with an experienced family mediator. This would enable you to talk frankly in a confidential environment, but would also enable you to get a much better idea of whether he is going to be reasonable or not. Often even if a mediation is not successful, it will enable you to plan a better strategy for any necessary litigation. What you have suggested it is certainly possible, and could be the subject of negotiation at the mediation. The other advantage is that mediation can be set up quite quickly. I am happy to discuss this further if you want more detail, but it would seem to be the next step this matter.
I dont think the mediation you went with your husband was a formal mediation. There are trained family mediators who you can find at places like AMINZ.org.nz, the Arbitrators and Mediators Institute, who have lists of suitable experienced people. You can attend with or without a lawyer and you can bring support persons. Its hard fro me to say if the business assets are relationship property, but if assets are bought using relationship property they continue to be relationship property. You may also need to discuss spousal maintenance with your lawyer which would give you an income to pay for this.