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Chris The Lawyer
Chris The Lawyer, Lawyer
Category: New Zealand Law
Satisfied Customers: 22808
Experience:  38 years qualified as a lawyer; LLB, MMgt and FAMINZ.
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De facto relationship, my x wife has cared kids 11 years and

Customer Question

De facto relationship, my x wife has cared for our kids for past 11 years and my new partner miss c of ( 10 yrs now ) and I have had kids every second weekend and many times every weekend along with 50 % of all holidays ever since we seperated which has been great given the circumstances, kids are great and my miss c has played a huge part in there up bringing and we have many great memories, we are a family of our own when they come and after 10yrs have a very close bond.
All of a sudden my x decides NO kids are not to be around or ever see miss c again and she has filled kids heads with God knows what as all my daughter of 15 can say is "mum has her reasons from what I've heard" but I will be 16 soon and then I get my own say and I can see miss c once again and mum can't stop me!. As for my son he is only 12 so it's a little longer wait for him.
This whole situation has huge effects on my life and miss c also.
X wants me to take it to court and says she will crush me as her parents are very wealthy and influential, personally I don't wish to drag my children through such a traumatic sequence of events as they are not deserving of such exposure as this and I'm just wanting advise as to what I should do from here.
Over last 6 weeks I have received over a hundred texts of abuse from x about miss c and constant insulting threats all of which I have not replied to or the odd Text I have sent back just trying to diffuse the situation in any way possible. I think what's triggered this is the kids have told x that they have far more fun with myself and miss c and that cut deep, I love my kids to pieces but I can't be expected to alianate miss c just because the x says so,surely I must have some rights regarding this matter!
At the end of the day it is about the children and I can still have my children but in saying that I can't be expected to evict my partner of ten years miss c every fortnight so I can have my children, that is absolutely unreasonable not to mention I can't do it, my x is just using my children as a lever between myself and miss c and it is really getting out of hand. What is my best course of action here? To get lawyers involved and get something in concrete once and for all ?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: New Zealand Law
Expert:  Chris The Lawyer replied 1 year ago.

You dont need to get lawyers involved to start because the Family Court sytem requires that there be FDR mediation to try to resolve issues like this. This is arranged through Fairway Resolution and means at a reasonable cost you can have a safe, confidential and quick facilitation of this problem.

Family disputes

Building on this development is the recognition that resolving family disputes through the use of mediation outside of the Court is the optimal way for resolving disputes where family must have continuing relationships. .

The greatest benefit to customers when they engage in mediation with one of FairWay’s mediators is the knowledge that the mediator will design a process to suit the cultural and other needs of the customer. The customer will remain in control of the resolution of the dispute and will be assisted by the process to focus on resolution.

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Keeping control

When parties in dispute hand over the resolution of the dispute to a third party such as an arbitrator or Judge, they lose control over the result. In some circumstances, parties may want to have a dispute or part of a dispute resolved by a third party. In most cases involving families, the preservation of family relationships and the avoidance of huge legal bills are often more important.

Specialist skills and processes

Any family dispute usually involves the management of strong emotions and therefore the specialist skills which have been recognised by accreditation as an FDR mediator are apposite in these disputes. In addition to the skill of the mediators, FairWay has also designed a case management system which is operated by highly trained Resolution Co-ordinators. The Resolution Co-ordinators have experience in triaging family disputes and ensuring that any customers are cared for throughout the dispute resolution process.

Expert:  Chris The Lawyer replied 1 year ago.

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