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Chris The Lawyer
Chris The Lawyer, Lawyer
Category: New Zealand Law
Satisfied Customers: 22891
Experience:  38 years qualified as a lawyer; LLB, MMgt and FAMINZ.
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My partner has shared 50/50 care of s 2 x daughters - 14,

Customer Question

My partner has shared 50/50 care of his 2 x daughters - 14, and 12, costs are split, with his ex wife.
I have a few questions regarding this:
Due to nasty texts/phone calls we have limited communication to email only -
His ex-wife sends long, passive aggressive, and abusive emails to us - do we have to put up with this? We do not react to it and only reply if it is regarding the children.
The 14yr old has been living with us full time for a few months, and seeing her mum 2 nights a fortnight due to relationship issues between them.
She needs braces which involve an operation, and treatment costing $8000, $4000 per parent. These are needed to prevent major problems, and not for cosmetic reasons. The ex wife has said she will not pay due to her temporary job. But has advised she will pay to our bank account, and her partner will help should she be out of work. So she can pay us, but refuses to pay the orthodontist directly.
We do not want to do this, as we cannot afford the full amount if she chooses not to pay.
Is there anything we can do here? or this can be enforced? She is saying she can pay, but it has to be her way, and is often buying things for their other daughter etc.
Last week, she was at a friends house (as we were out of the country), and refused to go to her mums house, as she was scared to go, believing her mum was angry at her (as organised). Her mother called the police and wanted to lay kidnapping charges. The police advised she had to stay at her aunts or go to CYFs care, so she went to her aunts, for one night until we returned.
Can these charges be laid?
Also can we obtain a copy of the police report for this, if so, how?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: New Zealand Law
Expert:  Chris The Lawyer replied 1 year ago.

This is an unfortunate exchange between the parents. The mother could not play kidnapping charges, because the child had not been kidnapped but was refusing to cooperate with the parenting orders, which is of course not kidnapping. You should ask the police for information about what happened under the Official Information Act so that you can ascertain what was claimed. In the longer term if you are having difficulties over a number of issues, the best way forward would be to arrange for FDR family mediation through Fairwayresolution Ltd, who arrange for family mediation. There is a cost for this and each of you pays half. At the mediation you can deal with the issues like the costs of the dental work, the tone of the emails and communications, and the present issue of the attempt to get the police involved. Hopefully at the mediation you would be able to get some ground rules which will help to resolve some of these issues. The link for Fairway is here, and that will tell you about the process. It is not going to court, but it was necessary to go to the Family Court you have to go through FDR mediation in any event.

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