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Chris The Lawyer
Chris The Lawyer, Lawyer
Category: New Zealand Law
Satisfied Customers: 23055
Experience:  38 years qualified as a lawyer; LLB, MMgt and FAMINZ.
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I have a 16 week old baby. She has trouble with her wind

Customer Question

I have a 16 week old baby. She has trouble with her wind pipe and as a result isn't allowed to get stressed. If I leave her with other people even people she sees every day she starts screaming and won't stop until I get home.
My ex partner and the babies father (whom I have never lived with) but is named on the birth certificate has recently told me he wants shared custody, he has hardly even held the baby since I had her and I fear what will happen if I leave her with him (if she gets stressed I don't believe he would call me for help and would more likely shut her in the bedroom) He has four other children whom he only sees for approximately 1 week a year. I have expressed that I am happy for him to visit her any time he likes at my house. He also has flatmates at his property and a pool straight out from the lounge (no fencing). When his children visit he spends a majority of the time shut in his bedroom and the children roam free (5, 6, 9 & 10 are the kids ages)
What are his rights as a father and what would the likely custody arrangement be. We both live in the same area.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: New Zealand Law
Expert:  Chris The Lawyer replied 2 years ago.

For very young children your present arrangement would be likely to be what is the best plan for parenting. A child this young cannot be left with the other parent in this sitaution until she is much older. So if he does not accept this, then the next step is FDR Family Mediation, where he would need to propose the saftey arrangements and full details. But if the mediation doesnt work, then a Family Court judge will want to ensure the child is safe and probably not allow any unsupervised contact until the child is at least two.

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Is there anything I should be doing in the meantime in regards ***** ***** ex that would look favourable to me in the family court. ie trying to set up visitation, keeping track of when he sees her.
Expert:  Chris The Lawyer replied 2 years ago.

You can encourage him to visit on a supervised basis, and perhaps keep a diary of the times he visits with notes on what he does during the visits.

Expert:  Chris The Lawyer replied 2 years ago.

This would enable you to keep a record of how he performs, and whether he is really serious about contact. Often you will find it is more about trying to cut back his child support liability. But he is unlikely to be able to have joint parenting until the child is a few years older and he has developed a relationship with her