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Chris The Lawyer
Chris The Lawyer, Lawyer
Category: New Zealand Law
Satisfied Customers: 22976
Experience:  38 years qualified as a lawyer; LLB, MMgt and FAMINZ.
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I am a married man aged 37 years. My wife is suffering from

Customer Question

Hi I am a married man aged 37 years. My wife is suffering from OCD since my 2.5 yr old was born. Me and my boy's life has totally become miserable. To give you examples
1. I have never been allowed to give him a bath
2. Never allowed to change his nappies
3. I am not allowed to wash and press my clothes, clean my utensils, cook my food
4. I am not allowed to touch anything when i come from work. I have to go straight to shower
5. My little one is growing and is not allowed to roam around in my house (she reckons carpet is dirty) he is tied to his play pen and child cot since birth
6. She washes vegetable, fruits, fronzen items, tinned materials all in dishwasher
7. I am not allowed to use my phone when i come from work
8. My friends and family are not allowed to come to my place
9. I am not allowed to take the little one to my parents (apparently again my parents house is dirty)
10. I am not allowed to take my little one out on my own eg. swimming
11. She has refused to seek treatment for OCD as apparently the docs tell her to gently force herself to normalcy which she says isnt possible
I am deprived of my rights as a father and my whole life has become so miserable that I feel for my little one whose progress is getting affected very badly. My wife is ready for divorce but unwilling to budge down
I would like to know
1. How easily can i file a divorce
2. How do i take custody of my little one
3. If not total custody how do i ensure that I am allowed to take him overseas on a holiday for a month or so.
Please advice
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: New Zealand Law
Expert:  Chris The Lawyer replied 2 years ago.
You can easily leave her, just by moving out. In New Zealand the only ground for dissolving a marriage is two years separated so leaving her is the first step. In this case her problems appear to be very serious, and I wonder if the child's best interests are served by leaving her with the child. With such a serious problem, it may be unsafe to leave the child with her, and she clearly needs professional help. So if you leave you can seek joint parenting or even to be the sole full time parent. However the first step for this is to have a family mediation, which you must do as the first step. If she refuses to take part you can then apply to the Family Court. You should see a family lawyer to help as the particular problems mean this could be a difficult case.