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Dr. Mark
Dr. Mark, Neurologist (MD)
Category: Neurology
Satisfied Customers: 1985
Experience:  Neurosurgeon - Brain, spine, and peripheral nerve surgery
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This may sound very stupid/irrational and the ramblings of a

Customer Question

Hi. This may sound very stupid/irrational and the ramblings of a hypermanic man. It isn't I have come down from an extreme mixed state of hypermania/subdepressive mixed state that I cannot find explained anywhere online and frankly it feels like it has just rewired my brain again.
So I'm slow, depressed and at the moment think I may be only person who likes some depression. Because you see my problem is I am 32 years old, I have always known I was a strange person who didn't quite fit in with society and have been very in my head and overthinking things from my earliest memories. I have always been told I have 'great insight' in that I can explain my thought process clearly and coherently.
In my late teens or early 20s I was diagnosed with bi-polar classic plus bi-polar rapid cycle. When diagnosed the psychologist accidentally told me the average life expectancy for me was 25. Thanks mate, that sent me down a rabbit hole of at one stage four compressed depressions that took a manic break 3 years ago to shake.
But this sent me down a decades long rabbit hole of pretending I was 'Charles Darwin' in my own brain. I spent years sailing the left and right hemispheres of my brain, observing and taking mental notes. When diagnosed I pulled out my telescope of insight and zoomed in further. I got into my head so far I pulled apart my thought process in three (a manic and depressive one that argued and a logical one that dealt with the world). Basically I yelled at my brain until it shutup, listened and we opened and internal conversation. Over the years I have just gotten to know my brain too well. I was told in grade 9 I would never be a scientist, as a result I clocked out and only learnt what I wanted. Which was predominantly my own self, why I was so weird, why I wondered and cared so much more than everyone else and needed to find ways to deal with society because of that.
Essentially I think I may be the single dumbest and unqualified neurologist in the world, and my expertise is BP1+BP12, I have no clue what to do with this information. Only that I think it could help the world understand bi polar and maybe mental health in general better. I had a normal very fun and different 'tortured artist' life plan figured out. I loved it. But I know if this information can help just a dozen people world wide i would love to find a way to make myself seem credible and help in the best way I can.
I know I have a talent for writing and for explaining things clearly. This is because my brains logical process is abductive. The problem is I have no science behind these theories. I'd love a way to engage at a level where I may come across as insane. But will atleast be listened too. And if I am right about these theories, I'd love to know the best ways to get them out there.
Thankyou for reading this. I'm sorry it's probably longer than usual haha. Definitely a lot stranger than most I'm sure :)
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Neurology
Expert:  DrThomasMd replied 1 year ago.


I understand the situation

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