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Gerald, Esq
Gerald, Esq, Lawyer
Category: Military Law
Satisfied Customers: 4079
Experience:  30 years of experience
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My husband is having an affair with a a retired, I am

Customer Question

My husband is having an affair with a a retired
JA: Are you overseas or stateside?
Customer: I am stateside and he is overseas (Japan)
JA: Have you talked to anyone in the chain of command about this?
Customer: I filed for a divorce when I discovered it and was going to let it go however he is plastering it all over social media...was wondering if it was something they would even address. He is about to retire
JA: Anything else you want the lawyer to know before I connect you?
Customer: I don't know who I should contact as reaching out to a base not knowing the chain of command is difficult
Submitted: 5 months ago.
Category: Military Law
Expert:  Gerald, Esq replied 5 months ago.

Thank you for using Just Answer. Please bear with me while I review your question. I will respond fully shortly. Thank you for your patience.

Customer: replied 5 months ago.
I have a lawyer currently however she is hesitant to contact the command. We have had to force financial information since discovery began and it's now 4 months and we are about to enter formal discovery I guess. But still no contacting the command. I filed due to abandonment because he hasn't financially supported myself or the child we took guardianship of 4 years ago. And now he just told me to refuse lawyer didn't even know what that was and I barely know
Expert:  Gerald, Esq replied 5 months ago.

An affair by a military person can be grounds for discipline, including court martial in certain circumstances. If he is posting about it it can be viewed as embarrassing the military and subject him to discipline.

Also the military takes seriously his obligation to support you and his family. You can file to be granted a portion of his pension.

If you attorney is not familiar with the mikitary rules he needs to do a little research on this. YOu have significant benefits that you may be entited to.

Customer: replied 5 months ago.
Between all that and public humiliation of his flaunting of his affair I am at wits end. His new financee has been to the base and been introduced to many of his collegues so I worry that it won't even matter. And contacted the crisis center at a base near me but they are tough to reach and don't return calls. I went DFAS but they can not give me the dependant information
Customer: replied 5 months ago.
We have married 23 years of his career...where does a dependent go to learn their rights?
Expert:  Gerald, Esq replied 5 months ago.

You need to get educated about your rights as a military spouse. The military will garnish his wage, and divide his pension. BUTthey need to know about the situation to do so.

YOur attorney needs to get support orders and a Qualified Domestic Relations Order so that you can get your share of the pension.


It is important that you act on these issues to protect yourself and your family.

Kind regards,


Customer: replied 5 months ago.
Thank you. I will review the information that you sent. I have been scouring the Internet however it's hard to know fact vs fiction
Expert:  Gerald, Esq replied 5 months ago.

Look at the Military based sites. They have the best information for you. Also if your attorney is not familiar with the military process regarding divorce, support, and pension, either get one who is or the attorney has to get up to speed on it. There is too much on the table that you are entitled to.

Also is a good source of information for you.


If you are uncertain about something you are reading you can come back and ask here too.

Kind regards,


(Please do not forget to rate me – click the five stars. It adds nothing additional to your costs, but it helps me greatly. Plus it is good Karma for you. Thank you.)