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P. Simmons
P. Simmons, Military Lawyer
Category: Military Law
Satisfied Customers: 14507
Experience:  Retired Marine Corps lawyer and Veterans Services Officer (VSO) with 12+ yrs. of experience.
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I am a newly ranks nco with the national guard. My "husband"

Customer Question

I am a newly ranks nco with the national guard. My "husband" is lower enlisted with another unit. We have been married for five years. However we have been separated but not legally separated for over 2 years now. He has a history and has been charged on the civilian side for domestic violence that later got dismissed by the state since at that time i didn't want to really talk about it. Or more so i felt guilty and ashamed and thought it was all my fault. After his charge was dropped, he deployed thinking it would put him in good standing with the military. He deployed with a new unit that didn't know anything about him. He is a manipulative narcissistic person and can make really anyone like him if they don't know the real him. Anyway, while he was gone it really gave me the strength to leave him and finally realize that it wasn't right what he did to me. I fell into issues for filling for divorce with an active duty soldier and couldn't afford to pursue that so i have been waiting. Well when he got home, he snapped like he always does and told his "friend" the State CSM they I committed adultery. The state CSM took it right to state level. I was pulled into do the initial interview and i didn't think i had an issue since i am not guilty. But as they were going with the questions, I found out it was adultery with one of my best friends- he is my unit supply sgt. During drill we are always near each other- i mean we are friends. And when hangout outside of drill sometimes. Well clearly that just looks awful- they made it sound awful. People whom are my husbands friends are are his eyes and ears of my unit made false quotes from me- which are completely just ridiculous. All around it just didn't go how i would of liked. My supply sit friend i guess didn't do well with his either. The most awful part about it is when my husband basically beat me- finally got caught anyway- which was when i was 9 months pregnant- I told my superiors about it- even my commander knew about it and how my husband was and is and nothing was done. I feel like my unit just completely left me- they are suppose to be my family and pick me up when i can't pick myself up. Now that this whole deal has gone up state side- seems like everyone higher ranking knows and since i am a quite person and my husband is the happy go lucky talks to everyone guy- I mean bot***** *****ne i look bad. My supply sgt looks bad and he could get fired and it would be all my fault. But i guess thats what my husband wants- what he always does- take away my support and he can gain all control. The findings will be determined by next week. I have already stated i would like to be attached to a new unit which was accepted. I don't know when i would have time to be this adulterer that i have been painted out to be I live 6 hours away from my guard unit where the supply sgt lives and i live two hours away from my husband. I am a full time mom and full time student. One question was why haven't i gotten a divorce if that was what i have wanted all along. I stated i have tried. I tried to do it on my own because thats what i could afford. My husband is not satisfied with anything to the point were i got rid of it basically and just keep saying when my FAFSA money comes in, ill get a lawyer. Right now i sincerely ***** ***** afford one and not my husband will make sure a divorce spends everything i have in my pocket. I just would like to know what I am in for? What do people usually get in this situation. Kicked out? And will my friend get fired from his full time job because of me?
JA: Have you talked to a JAG attorney or anyone in the chain of command about this?
Customer: yes. The one jag attorney that is near me is who my husband talks to. And my chain of command knows everything but they still are pushing this. I suppose no matter what since it has gone so high- ill need to be made an example of i am sure.
JA: Are you overseas or stateside?
Customer: stateside
JA: Anything else you want the lawyer to know before I connect you?
Customer: no.
Submitted: 11 months ago.
Category: Military Law
Expert:  P. Simmons replied 11 months ago.

Hi, My name is***** am an attorney with over 16 years experience. Hopefully I can help you with your legal question.

Expert:  P. Simmons replied 11 months ago.

SOrry...what do you mean "findings will be determined next week"?