Thank you for your question. I look forward to working with you to provide you the information you are seeking for educational purposes only.
Under NC law, if husband and wife
are not living together as spouses, they are separated. He has a legal obligation to pay you child support at the very least, if not alimony
as well, but in order to get that you need to file suit for divorce in court and you need to get a court order for child support and at least temporary alimony.
He was supposed to report that he no longer has family living with him for his BAH, but if you report him for illegally collecting BAH, he could face court martial
and that would mean he would be kicked out of the military and have no income at all from which you could collect child support or alimony.
As a spouse divorcing from a military member you could also potentially seek your share of benefits, including some BAH. See: http://www.militaryonesource.mil/legal?content_id=269358
So, what you need to do is seek to file for divorce and obtain child support and alimony orders and also contact family services at the base where he is assigned and seek assistance through them to seek your share of BAH and other benefits available. Once you get your child support order you would ask the court for garnishment
and serve it on his command and you will get your support payment directly from his check and will not have to fight him over payments.