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The rule that allows abuse to be an exception to the 20/20/20 rule only works if it is the abuse that led the spouse to get out of the marriage early and that is the reason that he/she missed the date.
In this situation, you didn't make the 20/20/20 rule because your marriage didn't overlap enough military service, but that is not because you ended the marriage early due to abuse. It is because your marriage started too late after he began service and he retired too early for you to be able to meet the standard for the 20/20/20 rule.
Unfortunately, your facts simply do not fit into any of the exceptions (and there are very few) to the 20/20/20 rule. You are not going to be able to retain the medical benefits beyond a year. You will need to push for additional funds from him in the divorce to obtain your own insurance.