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My partner is 59 and drinks heavily every 3-4 days. We are…

My partner is 59...

My partner is 59 and drinks heavily every 3-4 days. We are in a new relationship and I really want you help her.

Doctor's Assistant: The Psychologist can help. Just a couple quick questions before I transfer you. How long has this been a concern? Has your partner spoken to a mental health professional about this?

She has now told me that she has struggled for 30+ years

Doctor's Assistant: How has she been sleeping? Any changes in appetite?

She works in hospitality and often gets home after midnight. She sleeps lightly for about 5 hours but often naps during the day

Doctor's Assistant: Anything else in her medical history you think the Psychologist should know?

So much, I don't know where to start.

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Customer reply replied 1 month ago

She has spoken to her GP and has been referred to a local group. Blood tests are being taken next week.What can I do to help?Her son was 21 and committed suicide 18 months ago while in the British Army.. The inquest is not yet complete, and her dinkung helps her, she says.She does go 3-4 days without a drink at all, then a half bottle of brandy, gin, vodka, or 2 bottles of rosé get drunk in an evening...She does have a compulsive nature. Some years ago it was food. She had a gastric band fitted and lost 4 stone and has kept that off.I am 61 year old truck driver who is away 4-5 nights a week, so I don't always see the drinking.We talk on the phone most nights, and I can hear her tone change as she drinks.Are you there?

Answered in 43 minutes by:

5/4/2023

Mental Health Professional: Heather, Therapist replied 1 month ago

Heather, Therapist

Category: Mental Health

Satisfied Customers: 1,101

Experience: Psychotherapist

Verified

Hello, welcome to Just Answer. My name is***** am an experienced psychotherapist here to assist you today.

Just Answer is a question and answer site. I personally cannot evaluate, diagnose or provide treatment. My goal today is to understand your issue and answer the question you have. I will attempt to reply quickly but my replies may not be immediate.

I am sorry to hear that your partner is suffering and abusing alcohol . It sounds difficult to watch her suffer this way.

Please feel free to clarify your mental health question and provide any additional details that you think would be helpful for me to know.

Customer reply replied 1 month ago

Hello Heather. My name is Ray.

Mental Health Professional: Heather, Therapist replied 1 month ago

Hi Ray, nice to meet you!

Does your partner want help? Is she agreeable to treatment?

Customer reply replied 1 month ago

Amanda is trying everything to beat this. I did say that I don't think I could live with a drunk and because that is my issue, she has gone into action to get help, albeit reluctantlyShe has tried before, 15 years ago but wasn't successful. Her partner drank excessively too.I don't want to bully her or give ultimatums. I just want her to live a long and healthy life with me.my issue is how best can I support her through her treatment...how do I cope?

Mental Health Professional: Heather, Therapist replied 1 month ago

I understand your concern. I have to assume after the death of her son, she is in tremendous pain. So much so, that she doesn't know what to do to dilute the pain except to drink excessively. The first thing I would recommend is to find her a grief counselor and maybe a support group for parents who have lost their children.

It is my understanding that getting mental health services through the NIH is very limited and may require private sector services for the grief counseling. You can support and encourage her to do this. You may also want to search for the name and number of a provider to get her started. Something so small as leading her to a proper professional is a huge help.

The second part, the support group may be another great suggestion. One example in your area is The Compassionate Friends. This is a UK charity that provides support to parents who have lost children of any age and in any circumstances. They offer one-to-one support, group meetings, and an online community.

The next suggestion is to help her find Alcoholics Anonymous meetings in her area. This free support group is another great resource filled with people who can support and guide her through the process of finding sobriety while teaching her coping strategies and new ways to manage her problems. You can support her by finding a meeting for her and encouraging her to go.

For yourself, I recommend checking out Al-Anon. Another free resource that is designed for loved ones of alcoholics. They can offer enormous coping strategies, ways to interact, and support for you.

Customer reply replied 1 month ago

Wow... thank you. Grief councilling is something that I hadn't thought of.AA she has contacted, and I will follow up.Her GP mentioned some tablet that makes you violently sick if you take a drink... something abuse?
As Amanda works in the hotel bar, we have concerns about this.
She has confided in the manager, and he has offered different shifts away from the bar, but she is reluctant to do this as 1. she is good at her job. 2. the customers love her and 3. she has never drunk at work.Al Anon may be worth a chat. Thank you again Heather.

Mental Health Professional: Heather, Therapist replied 1 month ago

Antabuse is the name of the drug. It is a popular choice in addition to the counseling. It works by causing unpleasant symptoms when a person drinks alcohol, such as nausea, vomiting, headache, and flushing. These symptoms are designed to discourage the person from drinking alcohol by creating an unpleasant physical reaction.

Have I answered your question? If any part of my response is unclear, please let me know. It’s my goal to deliver excellent service, so please let me know if there is anything more I can do. Thank you for using our site.

Customer reply replied 1 month ago

You have answered my initial question, thank you.

Mental Health Professional: Heather, Therapist replied 1 month ago

You're welcome!

Thank you for submitting your question. If you would like to ask me another question in the future, you can add me as a favorite Expert. You’ll have the option to do that on your “My Questions” page if you choose to rate our interaction. Or, you can add me as a favorite Expert then type @ followed by my name (Heather B) in your next chat. Best wishes to you.

Heather, Therapist

Category: Mental Health

Satisfied Customers: 1,101

Experience: Psychotherapist

Verified

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