I Have Bipolar Disorder. What Can I Do?

Thank you for your answer Doctor. The main symptoms are my intense mood swings. As an example: I started a new job in November 2018 as a Sales person. For 2 months I was hyperactive, over-talkative, hyper-focus, full of ideas for my new role. Then I started to feel tired all the time, sad, feeling that my work had no meaning, couldn't sleep well or oversleeping, lost 9kg, felt depressed (from mid January till February. Then again in March I spent the whole month overly happy, motivated. I closed an important contract at the end of March which was considered as a very high achievement at work. 3 days later the whole office come to celebrate and I wasn't myself, hyperactive, no respect of boundaries, had a fight with my fiance in front of all my colleagues. My partner told me that at some point I just switch and wasn't myself anymore, I was having "grandiose" ideas, a grandiose idea of myself. I scared him. The next day he told me that I should seek help as it's not the first time this is happening. I last 1 more month at work and quit recently as I couldn't deal with the shame of my behaviour. Indeed, those cycles of temper have happened most of life, for years now. Every year I have 1 or 2 episodes of burn out for no reasons and other 1 or 2 episodes when I will be highly motivated, creative and pushed to do something big. I just know it happened and will happen again. My mother told me that as a kid I was already having mood changes quite regularly and that it get worst during my teenage time. I barely remember everything I did back at that time. My mom also told me that she noticed that alcohol is one the strongest trigger to this personality switch. Thank you for your feedback in advance.

To Add: I'm hypersensitive and cry very easily. I get the remark often, especially at work, that I'm over-emotional and pass too often from laugh to cry. It's like living and feeling all my emotions at once. My brain is also overly-thinking all the time, I switch from a task to another within seconds, always with the need to multi-task or I just do nothing, feeling exhausted. It's constantly in the extremes! The best thing that calms me is meditation. I do everyday.

I don't have issues with self-harm apart from over drinking coffees and smoking cigarettes. I drink alcohol rarely and only for celebrations but it always ends up bad when I do even with few drinks only. My emotions are changing very often, it's hard to regulate them, it takes a lot of efforts and breathing. For relationships it's in the extremes too. I have few long term friends but had multiple short explosive frienships that ended up bad each time. I had a very conflicual family contest in the past, today we are very closed and I have their support in my recovery

Sadly it does and it's hard at times to accept. I'm willing to take actions as I can't keep going with the characters described above (and more) as it's impacting my life and worry people I love. What would you suggest? Thank you again.

Thank you Doctor. I'm trying to contact specialists in Barcelona where I live, for the moment I'm without response but I will keep writing and pushing for a consultation. I will go through your book recommendation. I will be willing to start such therapy.. it took me time to face the facts but I have great support around me to do so. One last question please. What is the difference between Bipolar I or Bipolar II?

Ok so it's a positive news. Many thanks for your help and time.