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I have older sister who is very rigid and stuff around 49yrs…

I have older sister...

I have older sister who is very rigid and stuff around 49yrs age unmarried. Her greed for food has increased so much she fills her plate.. even after leaving enough food for her she continues to take whatever is left for other on the table. I have tried to avoid stand-off on petty thing but it has got to point that I can take it no more. Please advise.

Doctor's Assistant: Has the sister spoken to a mental health professional about this?

No she does not think there is anything wrong with her. She gets into argument which is not easy to win.

Doctor's Assistant: How has she been sleeping? Any insomnia or other issues?

She doesnt sleep only 3 or 4 hrs at early hours .. most of the time she is bathroom

Doctor's Assistant: Anything else in her medical history you think the psychologist should know?

She has blood pressure

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Answered in 4 minutes by:
3/27/2018
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm, Clinical Social Worker
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1,159
Experience: 10 years post-MSW experience
Verified

Hi, thank you for writing. My name is***** am sorry your sister is behaving in ways that make you feel bothered. Can you help me understand what your question is about her behavior? Are you concerned she may have a mental illness? Or are you just considering how to approach her about the things that are bothersome? I look forward to talking this through with you.

-Leah

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Customer reply replied 4 months ago
Hi thanks for your response I strongly believe she has psychological problem and need advise on how to cure her especially since she does not believe she has any. Her problem is she could not complete her education and could not get married ( her engagement was broken ) and does not have a job. She is always jealous of me. I have time and again tried to help her get a job and get a degree but she makes no effort. She eats a lot spends almost two hours on each meal. When we try to eat she starts filling plate from dishes and even take all dishes off leaving every little for others to eat. This looks very disgusting and we have to deal with this on daily basis. Any attempt to stop her and make her understand ends with argument and she tries to take us on guilt trip. Sometimes when some thing delicious is Cooked she would vomit it and then try to it. I need advise to get her out of this situation more than us she is harming her self. Please don’t suggest me to take her to psychraist because she would not go and would end up in fight. That’s the reason I am contacting you online please keep my identity anonymous.
Customer reply replied 4 months ago
When something delicious is cooked and she is already full she would vomit so she can eat again.

Hi, I know trying to help someone when they don't think they have a problem is very difficult. And unfortunately I don't have any magic suggestions for you on how to cure her problem without professional help. It does sound like she has something going on in terms of her mental health that may be contributing to her odd behaviors as well as her willingness to follow your sturdy advice. It also sounds like she uses food as a coping mechanism.

I wish there was some way for me to take this easy for you so you could help her. Clearly, you want her to be better. But if she is refusing your efforts, then you are left with little choice but to let her do as she wishes. You simply can not control the choices or actions of another person. You can only control yourself and the way you react to them. However, you could attempt to adjust the things she has been given so things are not so easily handed to her. She does not have a job yet is made to feel very comfortable in your home, having all her needs met without having to work for it. So perhaps, if you want to encourage change, you can begin by giving her some ultimatums about getting help or even contributing more by job seeking (or volunteering or taking a class) and tell her that if she doesn't begin to contribute to the household in some way you are going to ask her to find an alternative. I know this sound harsh, but again, her life is made pretty cozy and she is not being asked to do much. So if you want her to get help for her issues, you could propose this as one thing she must do in order to stay in your home. As I see it, she has no reason to admit there is a problem because she is given all she needs without any threat to that comfort.

-Leah

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Please excise a delay in my next reply. I have to catch a bus home.

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Customer reply replied 4 months ago
I agree with you I have been lineint on her because I think she has mental issues. I really appreciate your response. I will give her ultimatum and she if that changes anything. Is there any medical term to define this kind of behavior?

Hi, some of the things you mention make me think o depression (increased appetite, no motivation, limited sleep). Her strange food behaviors make me think about an eating disorder. And her unwillingness to accept fault or accept that she has a problem, her willingness to take advantage of you, as well as her selfish-type of food behaviors make me think of narcissistic personality disorder. Now note, none of these are diagnoses. Just some possibilities.

LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm, Clinical Social Worker
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1,159
Experience: 10 years post-MSW experience
Verified
LeahMSWuofm and 87 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
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Customer reply replied 4 months ago
Thanks I really appreciate your advise ..
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