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My boyfriend jerks off laying next to me in n bed

everynighevand every morning. Does not...
My boyfriend jerks off laying next to me in n bed everynighevand every morning. Does not even bother to see if I want sex .I could be laying there crying and he would just roll his back to me and jerk off .I feel like he is trying to control my sexual frequency
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Answered in 40 minutes by:
3/24/2018
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm, Clinical Social Worker
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1,166
Experience: 10 years post-MSW experience
Verified
Hi, thank you for writing. My name is***** really sorry to hear that your boyfriend is treating you like this. I assume you have told him that you wish to get involved in his intimacy? If so, and he still blows you off, that is a pretty blatant sign of disrespect. How is your relationship otherwise? Is this one of the only areas where you guys have trouble? Is he controlling in other ways? I look forward to talking this through with you.
Leah
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Customer reply replied 5 months ago
We have other issues and I am willing to work hard for this relationship but I can not do it alone. I am 49 and have been at the same company since 1992. I work for The United States Postal Service. Carried mail on a walking route for the first 15 years and then switched craft to become a window clerk. I am now the Leading Sales Associate and the Union Steward at our Main Office. He is a mason/concrete/construction worker. I am very dedicated to my job, union,family(which includes him), and trying to get a business opportunity up and going. The plan is to move to Kentucky. I will do a transfer because my opportunity is to buy into a horse racing business.bi make good money and raised two kids on my salary. He lives with me and is not good at all in paying rent, half of the utilities, food, household needs or out on the town dinner and entertainment. Put it this way, I feel like he don't give a damn because everything is in my name and I will take care of it. It started out good with him being responsible and pay his share but now it is just rediculous. He paid me 12 weeks out of 52 for 2017. He also is not honest about being paid or getting his check and it has put a huge weight on our relationship because I feel used. Trying to give him the benefit of the doubt by not jumping to conclusions or accusing him but when you make it look shady then what do you expect me to think. Our sex life was amazing up until this constant jerking off and acting like I am not even there. We have been expiremental in the bedroom with toys, positions,and things he has never done in his life. He tells me he has never done thing like this with anyone and that I have no problem believing. He says I am his "little hot chick". But I sure don't feel that way when you lie to me and now I second guess everything and the jerking off thing is not that I don't want him to do that because it turns me on but the fact that he is oblivious to my needs is killing me. I get that relationships don't always go smoothly and that couple's fight and feelings change. My self esteem is...well there is none and I struggle to make it through the day without crying. I don't go anywhere but work and home. Some times I have grocery shopping and bills to pay but he usually goes with me. I just feel like I don't mean anything to him right now and I don't know how to get back what we had. Help
I am sorry to hear what sounds like you being taken advantage of. You have a lot of positive things going on yet your partner has begun to consistently let you down in many important ways. You don't deserve his ill-treatment even if things were good at one time.I hear you though that your goal is to work on this relationship. I fully respect this but you are totally right, you cannot and should not have to do it alone. I suggest that you sit him down, letting him know ahesd of time that you need to talk about something serious. Make sure you know/rehearse the things you want to say so during this important talk you say what you need to. Put some pressure on him and set your expectations. Those may include things like sex and paying bills, but I would also recommend you tell him you think couples counseling is needed. Hopefully, when you help him understand more deeply your needs and wants, as well as your expectations, he will come around and take part in trying to make things better. And if not and he continues to blow you off, then that may be pretty telling about the likelihood he is going to offer you the treatment you deserve for the long haul.
I know this is hard! I wish for you strength, bravery and clarity.
Leah
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Hi, just checking back with you since this question is open due to being unrated. Did you have a chance to read through my last reply? Let me know how I can support you :)

-Leah

LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm, Clinical Social Worker
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1,166
Experience: 10 years post-MSW experience
Verified
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