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I feel like I'm having a mental break down & have no where…

I feel like I'm...

I feel like I'm having a mental break down & have no where to go to anyone to talk to.

Doctor's Assistant: Have you seen a doctor about this yet? What medications are you taking?

I'm not taking any & have appt with my primary but not for a couple of weeks.

Doctor's Assistant: Anything else in your medical history you think the psychologist should know?

I'm a recovering alcoholic & have been sober for 4 years. Have had anxiety attacks off & on for about 6 years

Doctor's Assistant: How long have you been dealing with this? Is there anything in particular that seems to make the symptoms better or worse?

Stress! Recently got married in January & we're already separated & talking divorce

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Answered in 1 hour by:
3/23/2018
Linda D.
Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 854
Experience: LMSW, CASAC
Verified

Welcome to JA. My name is ***** ***** I am a licensed psychotherapist in private practice in NYS. Thank yiu for waiting for a response from an Expert. I am preparing my reply and will post in one moment.

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It sounds like you are dealing with a lot in your marriage right now. One thing that is important for me to emphasize first and foremost is that your sobriety is the greatest gift you have right now and to build a future of integrity and wellness. So no drinking no matter how much this hurts, okay? May I ask.....................do you have a support system that supports your sobriety? Do you want to share with me what has happened in such a brief amount of time in your marriage? Linda D., LMSW, CASAC

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Customer reply replied 1 month ago
My sobriety means everything to me. Believe me when I say I have really been tested too. I have great support from friends, family & others like me.
The sum of it all is lack of communication, verbally abusive fighting that literally hasn't stopped for more then a couple days since we got married. Rage, co-depencu, insecurities, jealousy, lying. The list literally goes on. This is referring to both. The blame game usually. Both feel we're being blamed for something. I have a fear that he's still, gambling hanging out at his work (a bar) all day when I'm at work & using either pain killers, crack or both. I've confronted him but he swears he's not, but something inside tells me he's lying. He's a recovering addict with only a year or less of sobriety. Let's not forget about the sexual issues going on, because that's a problem too. This is just a sum of it. We've known each other for 33 years & have remained friends. We started a physical fling (s) about 20 years ago. He moved to Texas, got married was gone with little contact until about 2 years ago. We reconnected on Facebook & stayed in contact on a regular basis. 1 year ago, he left his wife & moved in with me. Within 8 months we were engaged & got married in January. Our relationship as a couple has been iffy since the beginning. However, we got married even though I suggested we hold off. For him it was all or nothing. He knew I was his soul mate & questioned nothing. Because of his faith in us I accept this & decided to still marry him. Here we are 2 months later & we're already separated & possibly divorce. I've taken anger management classes, but when we get to fighting like we do all that goes out the window. I've gone to a counselor recently, but the connection wasn't there. I've read a zillion & one self help books and yet still here we are. I've tried to tell him that we need marriage & individual counseling. He agrees at the time but once I make the appointment we inevidiately fight & have to cancel appt. It's gotten so bad, that we are literally destroying our house & cops have been called. Please understand there is no physical violence at all from or to each other. At this point he's moved out & has been gone for about a week. He did come over last night, I thought to talk but we ended up having sex, talking about 1 particular issue (a male friend) all was good for him because I just agreed to whatever he said. It's his way of thinking or none. He was happy with that victory, but I still wasn't happy with it. In the end I lost a friend to jealousy, possiveness, & control. I allowed part of this to happen but if I stand up about it we just fight again. Should be noted that my friend has a crush on me, but he also knows it's not the same for me & never will be. Needless to say he pulls me in bedroom again. Immediately after he showers, says he's not staying & isn't coming home anytime soon & that he's got things to do. I'm hurt tell him I feel like a bootie call, at which time he gets mad & says I'm being negative & should see last night as progress. He calls me this morning asks if I'm around, yes I say, he says he'll call me sshortly. 2 hours go by. He asks if I have plans. I say not really. He says he was thinking of coming by. He says he has a couple of errands & then be over shortly. Again, 2 hours go by, no call no show yet. I texted him, no reply for another 2 hours. I text him again & say I have an errand to run. He says ok. I tell him never mind I don't want him to come because I'm furious at this point. He texted me back an hour an half later,"so you don't want me to come over?" Really? I tell him I'm having anxiety attack & stomach problems from it. No response from him again. He comes over at 8pm tonight & it's WW3 going down. I feel so used, disrespected , unheard & blamed I can't think straight. So there it is in a nutshell
Customer reply replied 1 month ago
I Would like to talk, but can't right now. He's still here, only because he has no where to go at the moment, & is still ranting & raving about. It will have to be tomorrow.
I also am a friend of Bill W. 24 years, so I do understand the insanity of this disease. You and he are definitely emotionally out of control and you are not emotionally safe. That is why you are having so much anxiety. But you do have choices. Let's talk whenever you can today, tomorrow.....and say the serenity prayer as much as you need. You need clarity, wisdom and courage right now to know the next right thing to do. I'm here for you. Sincerely, ***** ***** LMSW, CASAC
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Customer reply replied 30 days ago
If you are available to chat today about 1pm, that would be great.

I'm sorry I am not free until 2:45. And then again at 5:15 an 7:45pm tonight. Would any of those work? Linda

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Customer reply replied 30 days ago
245 is good. I will make it work. Thank you so much & I really look forward to talking to you.

Your welcome. I will send you the offer for the phone call and you can give me your phone number then. Linda

Linda D.
Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 854
Experience: LMSW, CASAC
Verified
Linda D. and 87 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
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Customer reply replied 30 days ago
My number is(###) ###-####

Hi Sheila, I just realized we are in different time zones, I am Eastern Time. I left a message on your voicemail. Will you be free at 5:15 EST/2:15 your time? Linda

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Customer reply replied 29 days ago
I'm available now

ok, will call now

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Customer reply replied 29 days ago
Hi Linda,
Really, I can't thank you enough for today. Just talking to someone was so weight lifting to me. I had to look up the term of a "dry drunk" because I couldn't really remember. Wow! After reading the definition & traits, I completely agree with you that's what I/we are. I'm going to a meeting in the morning & have called to schedule an appointment with a drug & alcohol counselor. I have a feeling I'll be doing this alone. At least for awhile. I'm hoping he'll jump on the band wagon, but don't know. I went to talk to him about our conversation, but he was already gone & as of 12:20am he hadn't come back. No word, no call, no text. I tried texting him a couple times earlier, but I got no response. I called him but he didn't answer. About 10pm he called me & immediately started yelling at me about my male friend. I listened & have him answers but not good enough. Finally, enough was enough. I told him I was through arguing & when he could calm down to talk to me then. I asked him if he was planning on coming back & he said he was. However, he did not & now he's at work. He won't say when he's coming back, just he's coming back. I told him wasn't going to play this game anymore & that he was treating me rudely, disrespectfully, maliciously & acting like a child. I then told him, via text because he can't stop screaming at me on the phone, what you had told me & suggested us to do. I told him to look up "dry drunk" & see if he noticed any similar personality traits & that I wanted to attend meetings together & individually. However, I did tell him that we are dangerously close to relapsing & that I wasn't going to allow that to happen to myself. I told him I needed to do what is best for me & my sobriety & if that meant without him then so be it. I'm not going to allow him or anyone else, including my own demons to drag me back into that hell. So there you have it so far as to where we are at. We'll see what happens & what he decides.
Sheila. Thank you for letting me know your truly healthy decisions that you have made for you and hopefully for your marriage since we talked. Your willingness to take an honest look at yourself and do what you must do for your own sobriety is a precious spiritual gift. Taking the personal responsibility to care and protect this gift is going to change what is happening in your life emotionally and spiritually. I wish you all the best dear woman. Let me know if I can be there for you in the future, Linda D,
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Linda D.
Linda D.
Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 854
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Experience: LMSW, CASAC

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