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I had a rough breakup last summer that I'm still, months…

I had a rough...

I had a rough breakup last summer that I'm still, months later, not quite over. Was hoping to chat with someone (preferably female) for closure, honest/objective analysis and some critical feedback of myself.

Doctor's Assistant: How is your mood? Are you experiencing regular sleep disturbances (e.g. trouble falling asleep, waking up early)?

Sleep is fine. Physically I'm doing things in the gym I never have. Landed a new job.... Not deviant, dissociative or dysfunctional ... Just haven't had closure.

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Answered in 5 minutes by:
3/21/2018
Linda D.
Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 871
Experience: LMSW, CASAC
Verified
Hello my name isLinda and I am a licensed psychotherapist in the state of New York. I am here to chat with you about the process you are in regarding the ending of your relationship. Let me know how I can help. Sincerely, ***** ***** CASAC
Linda D.
Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 871
Experience: LMSW, CASAC
Verified
Linda D. and 87 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
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Customer reply replied 5 months ago
Would a phone conversation be possible? And what would the cost be?
Customer reply replied 5 months ago
Total cost for maybe an hour? Soup to nuts
Customer reply replied 5 months ago
Attached are some files I'll refer to.
Phone call session started

Greg, yes, it looks like your phone died, I have 30 more minutes at 5:30 today, will that work for you?

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Customer reply replied 5 months ago
talk to you then. Thank you.
Customer reply replied 5 months ago
Hi Linda, thanks again for everything. The phone call was definitely helpful. Last night I had a good conversation with a girl at the gym, am trying to move forward.But to kinda wrap things up, do you think I overreacted to that photo? You mentioned that people are multi-faceted, almost as if the picture and talks of purity aren't incompatible. I'm curious for my own development.The suggestion of borderline PD is very sad to me. Perhaps that's in play and explains all the confusions/contradictions. I've read that people with that disorder sometimes go on sex binges, which I find just so terribly sad and heartbreaking. It's frankly too overwhelming to think about.I pray often for this girl's safety, hope God protects her and keeps her on solid ground. That's all I can do.Greg

Hi Greg, yes, it was good talking to you and getting to know you as well. No, I don't think you overreacted to the photo. I think it was the catalyst for you to step back and reevaluate several things about the relationship that was concerning you. Her text about cheating on you, her minimal investment in the costs of visiting to build the relationship and her emphasis on honoring her "purity" in your interactions with her. Linda D., LMSW, CASAC

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Customer reply replied 5 months ago
Thanks Linda.I guess what's hard for me, upon reflection, is feeling like I "gave up" too easily. At the first sign of issues/conflict, I bailed out and didn't attempt to work through issues. Chat and communicate. That's not a rap I want to have, as long-term relationships (even good ones) are rife with issues.In the gym I've been dedicating myself to really a rigorous program to kinda help beat that "quit" instinct out of me.On the other hand, I have the following feelings:1. There's unnecessary risk. Cheating talk is a really bad investment.
2. I'm a relatively stable/independent person that's worked hard to save money/earn an advanced degree. I don't need someone bringing me down.
3. I feel like there's a limit to communication. Obviously talking is critical in relationships ... but you can't "make" someone respect you. Some things you get or you don't. Actions speak louder than words.Greg
Don't be so hard on yourself Greg. You were only 50% of this equation and yes, respect is a critical ingredient along with trust in a relationship. Learn what you can from this situation and move forward. Forgiveness of self is a spiritual tool that will allow you to be more open to giving and receiving love again. Linda D.
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Category: Mental Health
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