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I' m 16 and I am going through extreme guilt and regret over…

I' m 16 and...

I' m 16 and I am going through extreme guilt and regret over 3 invidents.Once when I was 9 years and was going through little inspection of my cousin sister's (6 years)private part while playing doctor. Rest 2 when I was 10 or 11 years old. I went to my grandma's home where my cousin sister who was 6 or 7 years came we were playing a game in which I was mother and she was the child. When it was the time to feed the baby we thought we would act like breast feeding (and at that time we had no boobs at all). In one chance I was the mother and in another she. After few months when we met again she told to play that game again but I refused . I worry if she would tell her mom and put entire blame on me(as I was the older one) and then they would call the police and I would be called an abuser. Another when my brother was 5 years . We were wearing our pants only . He touched my boobs and we laid on each other. I have told these incidents to my mom and she says it's alright after all you were just a small child. I always grew between younger children and had no one to play with of my age. My mother until then had never told me about sex or privacy. Nor did I have any exposure to adult content until then. Can you help me with this I'm overwhelmed with feeling of regret and feel very depressed. I wonder how they feel do they feel they were offended . I had no idea a out what I was doing then. Is it normal should I move on

Doctor's Assistant: How long have you been feeling this way? Have you reached out to anyone about this yet?

My mother

Doctor's Assistant: Anything else in your medical history you think the Psychologist should know?

No nothing as such

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Answered in 4 hours by:
3/20/2018
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm, Clinical Social Worker
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1,110
Experience: 10 years post-MSW experience
Verified

Hi, thank you for writing. My name is ***** ***** situations you are describing are developmentally typical and should no longer be a worry to you. As part of growing up, sexual and body exploration involving peers and family members often occurs. It is just part of us learning about our environments and about our bodies and how these things fit. The things you describe are also very harmless - they were not intended to inflict any pain or suffering and were done out of innocence, not anything more sinister. So I absolutely agree with your mother that the things you are describing are very common and normal developmental parts of childhood and you should work on letting them go.

Now, if you are the type of person who worries a lot and feels depressed, I would encourage you to ask your mother to help you set up an appointment with a counselor to discuss the way you are feeling. You were brave about bringing the other things up so you can be brave and tell her more about how you are feeling. Being a teenager is hard enough and adding things like feeling worried, overwhelmed and depressed just makes it that much more difficult. You definitely deserve support and will come out of this stronger if you continue to ask for help when you need it.

I hope this help and am here to chat more if you'd like!

Leah

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Customer reply replied 4 months ago
Thank you so much . This gives me so much relief..Is it common for all children like from all countries

You are welcome. And yes, es this is a common developmental phase of all children as they grow. The level of experimentation can vary from person-to-person, but many people have some story from an experimentation in their childhood that they feel a little awkward about later in life. I know I do! :)

-Leah

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Customer reply replied 4 months ago
also that incident I told related with my brother was as far as I remember initiated by me. This makes me feel really guilty, I being elder should have stopped it.
Also is this punishable offence am I a abuser .

This was not abuse. It was harmless exploration without ill-intentions. You regret your behavior today but did not have the same insight then. Neither did your brother. Please do not beat yourself up. You did not abuse your brother and you are not a criminal.

LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm, Clinical Social Worker
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1,110
Experience: 10 years post-MSW experience
Verified
LeahMSWuofm and 87 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
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Customer reply replied 4 months ago
Thanks a lot . This really helped.
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