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D only please. So as to be expected I've been more moody and…

For Linda D only please. So...
For Linda D only please.
So as to be expected I've been more moody and emotional as the year anniversary of my Mom's passing approaches( 3/22). Especially after I show I watch on Wednesday evenings where her Mom with Dementia passed away. I know it's okay to feel and express these feelings but there are times I don't feel comfortable and best to not to such as at work or out to eat at a restaurant. Is the best way to suppress the feelings in those situations the breathing you have mentioned before about breath in calm and breath out sadness or whatever I'm feeling or is there something else like just trying to distract myself? I'm working today and the sad feeling keep resurfacing and don't really want them seeing me do deep breathing and be like are you okay ya know. If I go to the bathroom each time and up often they would also wonder what's wrong and don't want to talk about it at work cause I then wouldn't be able to hold back the tears. Any advice or suggestions you have are appreciated.
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Answered in 11 hours by:
3/18/2018
Linda D.
Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 871
Experience: LMSW, CASAC
Verified
Hello, this is a very special, sacred time that is approaching and yes, you will be feeling your loss much more acutely. It is important that you practice learning how to "compartmentalize" your loss and sadness when you need to function like at work. You could have a picture or something that you associate with your mom and when it is time to go into work you can put it in a special place in your car or purse or coat pocket and just tell yourself you are going to keep your sadness there with her until after work. Practice doing this when the feelings start to surface. Have you ever heard of having a God jar Where you write on a piece of paper the things you want to let go of or not worry about and put inside? It is kind of like that. Does this make sense? Thinking of you. Linda D.
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Customer reply replied 5 months ago
good advice thanks. I will look into a jar I can do this with. I only have one printed out picture of my Mom which is framed and at the end of our hallway at home. I believe it is on my phone somewhere. I alao have a jacket of hers that I kept. Not completely awake and trying to go back to sleep. The cats wanted thier wet food and wouldn't stop bothering me about it so got up to give it to him but now my husband is snoring. Oh well worst case scenario once he gets up I can maybe then go back to sleep. Anyways I will probably write more later. My cats say Hi.
Customer reply replied 5 months ago
I found a picture of me and my Mom when I was I my early 20s. It wouldn't let me save it so had to take a screenshot of it in order to get it saved elsewhere besides my Facebook pics. Thought I'd share in case your interested in seeing a pic of her. I think on the anniversary of my Mom's passing I'll make it a temporary profile pic in memory of her.

Hello Georgina, thank you for waiting. It was my father's 90th birthday today and it got very hectic with the party I threw for him with his friends and our family. I love the pics of the beautiful cats, especially the one in the middle, just stunning. I hope you were able to get back to sleep this morning after awhile and get some rest. Grieving can be exhausting and really does require good self care during this period. I am glad that you are sensitive to the fact that the anniversary of your moms death is an important time for you. And yes, compartmentalizing your sadness when you need to will help make your sadness more manageable and so will giving yourself time this week moments to remember what was special about her, celebrate her love for you, and your love for her and time with those sweet cats, whatever you need. The picture of the two of you is very special, I am glad you found it and I love that you shared it with me. Let's stay in touch through here this week and please share whatever you would like with me about what you are feeling or memories of her if you would like. Linda D., LMSW, CASAC

Linda D.
Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 871
Experience: LMSW, CASAC
Verified
Linda D. and 87 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
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Customer reply replied 5 months ago
Thank you I appreciate your advice to help me deal with my emotions. I still need to print out the pic of me and my Mom and maybe I can put it in the middle console thing before I step out of my car and walk into work and can allow myself to feel and express any emotions I'm feeling as I'm driving to and from work. Work can hopefully be a break from the emotions. I am going to rate you but ya I'll keep you updated.
Hope your father had a great birthday
Customer reply replied 5 months ago
Tomorrow at 6:40 a.m will be the year anniversary of my Mom's passing. I've had mixed emotions and last night some feelings of anger that God took her from me and just not wanting to think about much cause I don't like how it makes me feel.
Customer reply replied 5 months ago
I don't recall if I showed you this pic of a niche I think it's called that has some of my Mom's ashes in it. I keep it on my night stand by my bed. Well wont let me add the pic. I'll try later.

Hello Georgina, I have been thinking of you and your mom today. I hope you took good care of yourself and you found yourself feeling close to her spirit and love for you. Linda D.

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