Mental Health

Have mental health questions? Ask a psychiatrist online

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

About three days back I started getting strong anxiety over…

Customer Question
About three days back I...
About three days back I started getting strong anxiety over not having a job and then when I did go for an interview all the interviewer was concerned with if I could do the job , I reassured this person that I could do the job. It didn't matter as he had already made his mind up about me. I'm about to turn 51 this month and that has been weighing on me. I'm the type of person that can normally take whatever comes at me and solve the problem but now I can't sleep at night I'm driving my family crazy . I just graduated from college , I went back thinking I was bettering my life not so sure I made the right decision.l do not which way to turn can you please help.and thank you. It just started about four days ago as of today I had a bad attack And has been going from there , Things that help getting away from my house and all the stress that is related with it. What makes it worse the thought laying down and going to sleep and just thought of being alone.
Submitted: 4 months ago.Category: Mental Health
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Mental Health Question
Answered in 8 minutes by:
3/17/2018
Mental Health Professional: ASacks, Psychologist replied 4 months ago
ASacks
ASacks, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 116
Experience: Psychological Counselling
Verified

Welcome to JustAnswer. I am an experienced Psychologist and I work with families and people of all ages. I am reviewing your question now and will be right back with a response for you.

Ask Your Own Mental Health Question
Mental Health Professional: ASacks, Psychologist replied 4 months ago

It sounds like you are dealing with some difficult feelings right now. I am sure this has not been easy and you need to know that your feelings are normal and valid.

As you would suspect- anxiety is just a feeling and if you had to associate it with a specific feeling it would probably be fear. Let’s spend a few minutes talking about the origins of anxiety (Please have a quick read of the PDF I have attached – it should only take a minute or two).

This should have clarified what anxiety is and where it comes from. Now that we have established what it is the best way to approach this is to consider feelings, thoughts and actions as these are the garments that make up our being.

We are taught that feelings are like visitors that come and go as they please and we have no control over them (this is very much built into our society). However, the opposite is true – we have full control over our feelings. We are taught to fight against the negative with all our might, but again this can be counter-intuitive. Instead, see feelings as what they really are-not good or bad, but rather guidance. Isn’t that wonderful you have a built-in guidance system like your own GPS.

This guidance helps you know if your feelings are taking you closer to what you want or further away. If you are feeling good, you know you are on the right path. If you are feeling bad you are taking yourself further away from what you want.

We have also come to think that thoughts are inevitable. And that when we have a problem it is our job to think about it until the problem is solved (we try and wrestle the problem to the ground). But, this seldom helps because the more we think a thought the more we focus on it and the more the problem grows.

It seems like you are experiencing the feeling of anxiety associated with your work. Anxiety is a feeling that is closely associated with fear and worry and if left to its own devices can take root in the mind and make a home there… let’s not let it!

Anxiety actually served a very adaptive role in human history and it can be traced back to our ancestors. Anxiety served to warn us of imminent physical danger and to activate the flight or fight mechanism (just like in the pdf I attached). However, today many people have thoughts that provoke the same levels of fear as imminent physical danger and this activates within us the flight or fight mechanism – except there is no danger so the feelings linger inside causing chaos. It's important to note that anxiety is focusing too much on the future and not enough on the present.

So here are some tips that can help you take back control:

* Start a meditation practice: This will help elevate negative thinking and help you take back control of your brain. Take 10 minutes every day to focus on your breathing or a sound around you. You can also listen to a guided meditation… I really like the following: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPpUNAFHgxM

* Read up on mindfulness- that is focusing in on the present moment. This is a proven strategy to help reduce anxiety and cope with negative feelings. Mindfulness will help you live more fully in the moment. The now is all you have at your disposal and spending it on “what if’s” is robbing you of the joy that you can experience. When you find yourself thinking a negative thought catch it and praise yourself for noticing it… now you have an opportunity to use it.

The best way to live in the now is to savor the moment… if you are with your family feel the love you feel and the joy of having them at your side. If you are eating delicious food, take a moment and acknowledge the beauty of that and the blessing that food really is. If you smell something delicious stop to savor it. Take it a step further and acknowledge these things out loud- tell the person you are with they are great, say thank you for the food and revel in the feeling you inspire in them.

* Cultivate a positive mindset… start by writing down 3 things you are grateful for every day. Start off your day with thanks (be thankful for your bed, your home, your family, your health, your family’s health). Don’t listen to depressing news, don’t complain, don’t chat with people who make you feel bad… you will see your life turn around. Realize that every topic is really two topics- that which is wanted and that which is not. We often think we are focused on the good when we say “I don’t want to be sick” but the mind still picks up the word sick. Rather say “I want to be healthy”, “I want to see myself in perfect health and happiness”. You will see your life change right before your eyes.

* Externalize the worry/ anxiety: never say “I am just an anxious person”, “I am always anxious and there is nothing I can do about it” or “I don’t know what to do with my anxiety” – it is not your anxiety it is just something you are experiencing rather say “sometimes I feel a feeling of anxiety… but I am learning to control it and I know I can get better at this”

* Use CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) Techniques to catch yourself when thinking anxiety provoking thoughts. This one is called be a thought detective:

Remember, worry is the brain's way of protecting us from danger. To make sure we're really paying attention, the mind often exaggerates the object of the worry (e.g., mistaking a stick for a snake). Try a method we call the 3Cs:

ü Catch your thoughts: Imagine every thought you have floats above your head in a bubble (like what you see in comic strips). Now, catch one of the worried thoughts like "Im scared I am getting sick."

ü Collect evidence: Next, collect evidence to support or negate this thought. Do not make judgments about what to worry about based only on feelings. Feelings are not facts. (Supporting evidence: "I am not feeling so well." Negating evidence: "this happened last week and I was fine.")

ü Challenge your thoughts: Have a debate with yourself and convince ourself you are doing great.

* There are brilliant teachers of well-being out there and the information is so easily accessible. Try reading the following books with an open mind- they have the potential to be life-changing:

-Change your thoughts, change your life by Wayne Dyer

-Ask and it is Given by Esther Hicks

-The Secret by Rhonda Byrne

* My last piece of advice is: have compassion for yourself… don’t be too hard on yourself and realize that no matter what the things that happen to you shape you in positive ways. You are always on the right path because everything is contributing to your growth and development.

Now that we have approached the anxiety element of your question. I want to chat about the job element. Bettering yourself is never a bad choice- even if it just means doing something that makes you feel better about your skills and knowledge. When entering an interview environment you have to know that you are worthy of any job that you want and the best way you can project this to others is through your belief in this fact- you can expect others to trust in your ability if you don't. so here are a few tips before entering an interview:

- research how to answer interview questions- there is so much help online

-use the wonderful power of your mind to pave the way for good things to happen to you. visualise the interview going well, see yourself answering with confidence, see the interviewer being fair and understanding.

- change your mindset: know that you are worthy of the best job possible. I am sure you don't just want any job, you want one that is also a great environment and fulfilling. so when you approach an interview don't see it only as them deciding if you are worthy of the job, but also of you decide if this is the right place for you.

- right before going in- use power posing. you can see a youtube video all about it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ks-_Mh1QhMc

- read up on body language.

- know that you can!

I wish you the best of luck with everyhing... you are on the right track!

Please remember to rate my answer- this will not end our conversation- we can continue until you are satisfied!

Ask Your Own Mental Health Question
Customer reply replied 4 months ago
Thank you very much for your answer. How can I better cope with the anxiety and work towards getting rid of it? Its taking a severe toll on my family as well as myself.
Mental Health Professional: ASacks, Psychologist replied 4 months ago

have a look at some of the tips above including the meditation, mindfullness and CBT techniques. these are great ways to cope with anxiety

Ask Your Own Mental Health Question
Customer reply replied 3 months ago
Thank you. The main part I am concerned about though is being alone. I am fine as long as I am with people. Any time I am alone or know I'm going to be alone is when the anxiety starts.
Mental Health Professional: ASacks, Psychologist replied 3 months ago

Its tough sometimes, but being alone gives you the opportunity to practice these skills and develop the strength to cope. I wish I could give you a magic formula that will take it away- but it requires some work in shifting your focus and developing coping mechanisms. I find meditations (which will help your mind grow stronger) and mindfulness to be the most effective tools. However, you can use a distraction to help you in situations where you are alone... try doing things that distract you from your thoughts - things you like and that make you feel good.

Many times we think that we need to solve our problems and wrestle them to the ground by thinking about them. However, the opposite is true- distraction is as effective a method and often the solution will come to you more easily.

Ask Your Own Mental Health Question
Mental Health Professional: ASacks, Psychologist replied 3 months ago

Just checking in... how have things been going?

Ask Your Own Mental Health Question
Was this answer helpful?

How JustAnswer works

step-image
Describe your issueThe assistant will guide you
step-image
Chat 1:1 with a mental health professionalLicensed Experts are available 24/7
step-image
100% satisfaction guaranteeGet all the answers you need
Ask ASacks Your Own Question
ASacks
ASacks
ASacks, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 116
116 Satisfied Customers
Experience: Psychological Counselling

ASacks is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much

Corrie MollPretoria, South Africa

I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well!

ClaudiaAlbuquerque, NM

Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion.

KevinBeaverton, OR

Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
I feel better already! Thank you.

ElanorTracy, CA

Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem.

JulieLockesburg, AR

You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions.

John and StefanieTucson, AZ

I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!!

Janet VPhoenix, AZ

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

Dr. Keane

Dr. Keane

Therapist

1,379 satisfied customers

Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.

TherapistMaryAnn

TherapistMaryAnn

Therapist

4,101 satisfied customers

Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.

Dr. Olsen

Dr. Olsen

Psychologist

2,336 satisfied customers

PsyD Psychologist

Norman M.

Norman M.

Principal psychotherapist in private practice. Newspaper contributor, over 2000 satisfied clients on JA

2,246 satisfied customers

ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), ECP, UKCP Registered.

Dr. Michael

Dr. Michael

Psychologist

2,177 satisfied customers

Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.

Steven Olsen

Steven Olsen

Therapist

1,728 satisfied customers

More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education

Anna

Anna

Mental Health Professional

1,656 satisfied customers

Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 29 years in addictions and mental health.

< Previous | Next >

Related Mental Health Questions
I am eighteen years old and I am a very self aware person, I
I am eighteen years old and I am a very self aware person, I have Asperger's syndrome and I have been depressed for quite some time now. I started feeling extremely unmotivated a little after seventh … read more
Dr. Z
Dr. Z
Psychologist
Doctoral Degree
9,633 satisfied customers
This is my first night on chantix and I'm terrified. Do
This is my first night on chantix and I'm terrified. Do people ever do weird stuff like sleep walking, screaming in your sleep, harming themselves without knowing while sleep walking. I'm just afraid … read more
Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Adjunct Professor
Master's Degree
1,014 satisfied customers
I have extreme anger & resentment to my mother & older
I have extreme anger & resentment to my mother & older sister & many times I often imagine killing them both in graphic detail, but I end up repressing those feelings & end up in a spiraling depressio… read more
DrPsychologist
DrPsychologist
Post-Doctoral Degree
39 satisfied customers
My husband passed away six years ago suddenly. I did, what I
My husband passed away six years ago suddenly. I did, what I thought were the right things to heal the pain. I journaled my feelings, I read books on grieving, I saw a grief counselor who told me I wa… read more
Dr. Shirley Schaye
Dr. Shirley Schaye
Dr. Shirley Schaye
Post-Doctoral Degree
220 satisfied customers
I am being battered of sorts. My children choose not to
I am being battered of sorts. My children choose not to speak to me as I was always their disciplinarian and enforced (consequented) their innppropriate behavior, but always made sure, that i reinforc… read more
Kevin Kappler
Kevin Kappler
Clinical Psychologist
Doctoral Degree
353 satisfied customers
An Interview: I need to interview one of the following: * A
An Interview: I need to interview one of the following: * A county mental health case-manager * A staff person on a psychiatric unit of a hospital * A person that works for crisis intervention * A wor… read more
Dr.G.
Dr.G.
Counseling Psychologist
Doctoral Degree
449 satisfied customers
My 40 year old son has not held a permanent job since 2006.
My 40 year old son has not held a permanent job since 2006. He has had two temporary jobs since -- one for 5 months and one for 6 months. He claims he is subjected to electronic harassment. He can't s… read more
psychlady
psychlady
Clinical Director
Master\u0027s Degree
3,517 satisfied customers
Question for olsen., i havent heard from the 1st job offer -
hi question for steve olsen. hi steve, i havent heard from the 1st job offer - still. and i got a call yesterday to book an interview for the er at hospital quite far away - like 30 miles... but i had… read more
Steven Olsen
Steven Olsen
Therapist
Master's Degree
1,728 satisfied customers
I've going through kind of a confusing and transitional
I've going through kind of a confusing and transitional point in my life. Basically, my early to mid-20s were a mess. I failed out of college and couldn't hold down a job. I must've gone through 7 job… read more
Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Adjunct Professor
Master's Degree
1,014 satisfied customers
How can a person who has spent 20 years in prison get help
How can a person who has spent 20 years in prison get help for pent up rage, when you have no income and cannot get a job?… read more
Dr. Michael
Dr. Michael
Psychologist
Doctoral Degree
2,177 satisfied customers
I'm feeling very discouraged about financial health. I have
I'm feeling very discouraged about financial health. I have been on a very low income for two years. I have tried very hard using any means i know how to gain valuable employment but it seems like eve… read more
Dr. Shirley Schaye
Dr. Shirley Schaye
Dr. Shirley Schaye
Post-Doctoral Degree
220 satisfied customers
I'am currently in the 3rd year of my second marriage.i have
hi,my name is ***** ***** in the 3rd year of my second marriage.i have a 19 year old daughter from my previous marriage who lives with us.she is a pretty good kid.she has a part time job,goes to colle… read more
Dr. Shirley Schaye
Dr. Shirley Schaye
Dr. Shirley Schaye
Post-Doctoral Degree
220 satisfied customers
I have a son who is a senior in college. Has a great gpa
I have a son who is a senior in college. Has a great gpa 3.7. Always has had alot of passion in whatever he was doing. He finds himself not knowing what he wants to do after graduation and does not li… read more
Karyn Jones
Karyn Jones
Counselor
Bachelor's Degree
1,713 satisfied customers
My husband left me 2 years ago and now lives with a woman he
My husband left me 2 years ago and now lives with a woman he met on the internet. My 21 year old daughter lives with him when she is not in college, because he has tried to turn her against me with li… read more
Suzanne
Suzanne
Therapist in Private Practice
Master\u0027s Degree
338 satisfied customers
My son is 27. He graduated from FSU on May 2, 2009. He moved
My son is 27. He graduated from FSU on May 2, 2009. He moved back home with me and my husband. He is causing NO problems for us. But he has not and does not leave his room except to come out for dinne… read more
Dr.G.
Dr.G.
Counseling Psychologist
Doctoral Degree
449 satisfied customers
Hi. I am a 24 year old female who possibly suffers from mild
Hi. I am a 24 year old female who possibly suffers from mild depression which in turn affects my relationship with people. I never have really found a close group of friends. I am a successful college… read more
Dr. Vikas
Dr. Vikas
Professor & Head
M.D (Psychiatry)
33 satisfied customers
I'm about to start a new job and have been warned that one
I'm about to start a new job and have been warned that one of my supervisors is quite difficult. (the woman who interviewed me shared that he recently berated her in a meeting, just one example of how… read more
Dr. Ed Wilfong
Dr. Ed Wilfong
Licensed Psychologist
Doctoral Degree
1,524 satisfied customers
I'm only 18 and feel constantly depressed. I feel that I
I'm only 18 and feel constantly depressed. I feel that I have nothing going for me and my life is pointless. I've graduated high school and am working for my family business. I guess i feel let down, … read more
Dr. Ed Wilfong
Dr. Ed Wilfong
Licensed Psychologist
Doctoral Degree
1,524 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x