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My son moved back home when his father retired. He had

worked for him in his...
My son moved back home when his father retired. He had worked for him in his detective agency. He is older and hasn't been able to find work so his ability to be independent is not there right now.He has a 1979 Scout which he is very attached to. For his birthday we had bought him a TV but he didn't want that so we are using the money to restore the Scout. So far he has registered it and is getting it smoged soon. My problem is he does not know how to manage money (I never realized how bad it is before) in "fixing it up" he is asking for money constantly... every time I turn around he needs another $20. for something. I told him not to nickel and dime this out or he'd run out of money then he insists he has to have these little things to get it running right etc. The vehicle will need painting and refurbishing inside and out to get it in the condition it needs to be in to be worth any kind of money. How do I get him to learn to manage money. He is terrible about it. It is like money just runs through his fingers.
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Answered in 1 day by:
3/15/2018
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm, Clinical Social Worker
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 961
Experience: 10 years post-MSW experience
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Hi, thank you for writing. My name is***** is nice of you to open your doors to your son. However, it sounds like he may be starting to take advantage of your unwavering support and that in itself may be incidentally enabling his responsibility because he eels like he doesn't need to worry about it. My advice to you is to 1) make him keep a journal with hs expenses and to show you the journal before you offer more cash and 20 ensure he is keeping a running total of the money you have pre committed to him and 3) make sure he knows that once the money he was offered is gone, there is no more that will come, even if his project is not finished. By encouraging him to take responsibility through record keeping (and positively reinforcing his record keeping) by "rewarding" him using it, and by ensuring he has a firm boundary in place with regards ***** ***** much you will give, you will put him in the position of needing to be more independent and responsible and lessen the chance that you will end up getting put out more and more.

If you feel like he needs some basic training in budgeting etc. GreenPath is a place that does free debt and credit counseling and this could be a good resource for him to get some education around organizing money. http://www.greenpath.com/

I am here to chat more about this if you'd like!

-Leah

LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm, Clinical Social Worker
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 961
Experience: 10 years post-MSW experience
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LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm, Clinical Social Worker
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