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Feel as though I am at war with several versions of myself…

Feel as though I...

Feel as though I am at war with several versions of myself every day some are not good some feel like I used to be I know who I am and I remember doing things that are very out of character but feel no remorse or real emotions and I am scared I'm losing control of myself I don't believe these are different people in me its me just not me I don't know what to do

Doctor's Assistant: Have you seen a doctor about this yet? What medications are you taking?

No I'm scared I don't want to be institutionalized I have a family and I have been fighting this thing a few years I'm just losing and its affecting them because I know they see me but they tell I'm not the same as I used to I get angry easy when I rarely did before and I can not be around them I sleep separately from them in my own room away from my wife because I don't want her to see me different as often I zone out like I'm awake but oblivious to them some time till someone shakes me or yells because they say yhey see myexpressins changing when I zone out and it scares them sometimes.

Doctor's Assistant: Anything else in your medical history you think the doctor should know?

I don't know my family history very well but know the males have a history of mental illnesses some were hospitalized some were placed in prison and all have died due to suicide or were killed minus my father who died after being relaesd from prison and was being treated for several mental issues was extremely violent and died fighting cops off after he attacked them his heart gave out i don't know what he was being treated for i was not raised by him after he tried killing my mother and and went to prison

Doctor's Assistant: I'm sorry if I'm reading you wrong here, but it seems as though you might be considering committing suicide or hurting yourself. Am I right?

Not right now. I have left home by myself through this whole thing a few times and thought if i did everyone might be hurt for a bit but in the long run if i did they could at least move on and find someone they deserve it one of the things i mean when i say i fight with versions of myself very day

Doctor's Assistant: Do you know if your family has a history of heart disease? In general, how would you describe your health lately?

Some

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Answered in 8 hours by:
3/9/2018
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm, Clinical Social Worker
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1,160
Experience: 10 years post-MSW experience
Verified

Hi, thank you for writing. My name is ***** ***** am sorry to hear about how you're struggling with y=the way you feel and think. I wish there was an easy way to offer you an answer through this site but unfortunately, your symptoms and concerns need to be medically assessed. This is especially true if mental illness was common in your family - it is possible that you have some similar mental health conditions that make you feel out of sorts and disconnected. Depression, PTSD, schizophrenia, etc are some examples. However, the fact that you feel the need to sleep separately form yo wife certainly symbolizes that this takes a significant toll on the way you feel and warrants addressing so you have the opportunity to feel yourself again.

Now, it is important to understand that you are not likely at risk for being hospitalized or imprisoned as you have not done anything wrong. While hospital stays can sometimes be imparted on people in order to protect them or other people, there is no reason to believe that as of now, you are actually a threat to yourself or others. Therefore, i strongly encourage you to connect with a local psychiatrist as soon as possible and then let them take the lead on assessing you more thoroughly. perhaps other doctors may need to be involved to assess other causes, like seizures (They can make people zone out), but at this point, i think you need to start by seeing a psychiatrist.

There is no reason to be scared or shamed. But you may have an opportunity to fix this and feel better so I hope you won't delay further. If you need help considering a psychiatrist, send me your zip and insurance type and I'll see if i can provide a ew options.

-Leah

LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm, Clinical Social Worker
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1,160
Experience: 10 years post-MSW experience
Verified
LeahMSWuofm and 87 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
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Customer reply replied 5 months ago
65536 aetna blue cross and blue sheild

Thank you for the rating and zip. i di my best to try to find places that may accept your insurance, although it was a bit hard for me to ensure this so make sure if you do call to schedule, you have them verify your coverage first. Hopefully on of these opportunities leads you to someone great. And, while I made mention of psychiatry, i also think that talking to a counselor is a great place to start as well.

Mercy Clinic Psychiatry - S. Fremont-Suite 330

1965 S. Fremont Avenue

Suite 330

Springfield, MO 65804

Phone: (417)(###) ###-####/a>

http://www.ozarkscompass.com/services.html

https://psychologistspringfield.com/

http://compasshealthnetwork.org/services/mental-health/community-based/

http://www.burrellcenter.com/

I hope you feel your best very soon!

-Leah

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