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I wanted to talk to a phsychiatrist. No actually I wanted to…

Hello, I wanted to...

Hello, I wanted to talk to a phsychiatrist.

Doctor's Assistant: How is your mood? Are you experiencing regular sleep disturbances (e.g. trouble falling asleep, waking up early)?

No actually I wanted to take some advice. I’m an auntie. My concern is about my niece and nephew

Doctor's Assistant: Anything else in your medical history you think the Psychologist should know?

Personal you mean?

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Customer reply replied 5 months ago
Hello
Answered in 20 hours by:
3/8/2018
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4,796
Experience: MD Psychiatry
Verified

Greetings.

Welcome to the site.

I am a Psychiatrist and i believe that i can help you with your query.

Please go ahead with your question.

Regards

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Customer reply replied 5 months ago
I wanted to take your opinion in some matters. My younger brother has a daughter and a son. I love them dearly but it makes me sad the fact that her mother and father are having problems and automatically they do as well. My niece will finish 7 in the summer and my nephew will finish 5 in the summer.
Customer reply replied 5 months ago
The mother is the main problem. She is narcissistic and her family (especially her mother) are narcissistic as well. She succeeds to make every issue in the house about her. She is very manipulative. In the other side my brother was the most positive, sweetheart, most smiling person I knew. Unfortunately now he’s tired, gets angry quickly, blocked or frozen I don’t know how to say it. He’s in pain and he lost hope on her. But he’s staying in the marriage because of the children he says. But the whole family in general is hurt and humiliated.
Customer reply replied 5 months ago
On the other side the children are messed up, maniputated, facing problems. And I’m trying to love and support them. But I don’t see them as much at this very time and secondly I’m busy and I live with my husband, not very near to their house.
Customer reply replied 5 months ago
Once I suggested the father that the children have some problems. This was 7 months ago. He was heavily working at that time, and at the other side he was hoping to organise his time better and secondly he’s hoping that he and his wife were going to have a better ralation, put their issues in order, work for betterment of their mistakes. And they both promised to do so. After that I was helping them with advice how to be better parents and some detailed advice ex, if my nephew have tempered tantrums how to overcome it correctly because. And I hoped that everything was going fine.
Customer reply replied 5 months ago
My niece was complaining to much to me about her mother. And my nephew was mixed up. He was very sweet at times and very angry and vindictive at times. Anyhow after all this time I found that the children still have problems and my sister in law is the same with the children maybe worse because she is manipulating both her children too. I was so shocked...
Customer reply replied 5 months ago
It will help if you help me by asking certain questions so I can be more precise.
Customer reply replied 5 months ago
Best regards
Thanks for the inputs.
I can see that you want to help the kids to get a better environment to grow but there are limitations since you are not willingly allowed to get involved by their parents and you have poor access to then due to the distance.
What specifically do you want to ask ? Is it regarding how you can help the kids and their father to cope with your sister in law's narcissistic ways ?
Regards
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Customer reply replied 5 months ago
Hi,Customer Yes you’re right I’m a bit confused because there’s so many things. But your input is a good clarification and guiding too. Yes my question would be that, LITERALLY how can I help the father and the kids to cope with the situation.
Secondly, my brother is very honest and straightforward personality. But after aaaalll this happening in his life he has become very defensive, irritated and short tempered. He loved her so much, he put so much hopes and he is so hurt. What can I advice him for himself. If of course you can help me with that (if not I understand).
But still my concern is how can I reach children, what can I tell them (what is proper to tell them) not to lose hold of the reality. I have a very open and nice relation with them when I’m available. I have been truthful to them but I want to know what is your advise on how I approach them now that the situation is very delicate.
I’m grateful for your very helpful input.
Please kindly confirm the ages of your niece and nephew. Niece is 7 yrs and nephew is 5 yrs. Is this right.
Regards
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Customer reply replied 5 months ago
doctor, Jusra will be seven in the summer and Bilal will be 5 in summer.
Thanks for the valuable inputs and for your patience. I needed some time to assimilate my answer since you are indirectly involved in this situation which is not regarding you but about your brother and his wife and kids, so you need to work on this tricky situation in indirect and subtle manner.You need to realize that by telling the kids that their mom is selfish and bad would only lead to further trouble in their lives because their minds are extremely fragile and so any sort of negativity baout their own mother would rattle their minds up and down. Also please do not discount the fact that no matter how much manipulative and exploitative their mother may be ulbut they see her with affection and love so it will come as a shock if you reveal her real character to them at this point of time when they're so young and innocent.
So I suggest that you persuade your brother to seek marital and family therapy from a relationship therapist or expert because any sort of advice coming from you would be discarded by his wife and it would look to her that you are blaming her for all the chaos that they are enduring as a family which will never help the family.
So in order to bring peace to your brother's family life the route goes via his wife, so the best way to deal with their family issues will be to seek intervention in the form of therapy as a couple from a relationship expert who will come across as an unbiased person so she will be more willing to listen to her own negatives.
The children are doing what they are seeing at home and hence have become temperamental so once the core issues are resolved within the couple the children will start feeling better from within after seeing that their parents are once again on good terms. You see the children are the real sufferers since they are getting sandwiched between mon and dad altercations and hence they vent out their frustrations by exhibiting anger and outbursts.
I hope this makes sense and gives you a direction to move in.
Wish you all the best.
Please kindly leave a POSITIVE RATING if you are satisfied with the answer.
Regards
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4,796
Experience: MD Psychiatry
Verified
Dr. Kaushik and 87 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
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Customer reply replied 4 months ago
Hello, dr Kaushik
Greetings.
Do you have a query to ask.
Regards
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