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Are you? marryann as you are fully aware my intrusive

Hi are you? marryann as...
Hi are you? marryann as you are fully aware my intrusive thought is 'what if i killied someone in past and forgotten' and the compulsive nature is reviewing my past memories! What I what to know is I'm associating a lot of my memories to my intrusive thought,when I get a memory gap 'what was my thought in that Gap? As you no I get a thought that matches with my obbession.what I would like to know is for example all the time I was working at this job between Oct 06 to March 07 I can visualise myself thinking about what I done now is this partly to test my reaction?
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Answered in 2 hours by:
1/18/2018
TherapistMaryAnn
TherapistMaryAnn, Therapist
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Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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Hi, it's good to hear from you.

OCD symptoms can trick you into thoughts just as you describe. In other words, OCD will cause your mind to try to find a way around the facts of the situation to convince you there is something serious to worry about. And often those thoughts will become more and more complicated just to keep you feeling anxious. Visualizing yourself thinking about something you might have done in the past is the OCD symptoms trying to convince you that there is something you forgot and that it is serious. Testing your reaction to those thoughts is another more complex way OCD symptoms try to convince you that there is something to be anxious about. Your OCD thoughts are working to find another way to make you anxious by convincing you that your reaction is being tested- but there is no way to win. Memory does not allow anyone to be completely sure of what they recall or what happened because memory is not reliable and not based on fact. But what you can be sure of is that there is no evidence of anything occurring and that these thoughts and feelings are an exact match for OCD symptoms.

MaryAnn

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Customer reply replied 6 months ago
Thank you I'm very happy with the response,when I get these thoughts 'Lucy this is the way it looked in your head why do I get just a one version not multiple versions what could of been on my mind

You're welcome!

It may be that the OCD symptoms are causing your mind to focus on one version rather than allowing you the freedom to consider other versions. Or it may be that because of how memory works, you are thinking of one version like most people do when they think about a memory. If you ask a group of people to recall an event they all were involved in, you will get a different version from each person. Every person will have one way of seeing that event based on their memory, feelings at the time and now, what they noticed at the time and what filtered out and their own personality. But for you, the OCD is focused on one possible version of that thought/memory and doesn't allow for other possibilities. But it is clear that memory is not reliable overall and that the OCD symptoms are using that to convince you that there is something there to focus on and worry about.

MaryAnn

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Customer reply replied 6 months ago
That makes sense just one other thing a part as me as you may be aware does no what I really was obbessing over throughout 2003/2007 I'm in doubt this was what I was obbessing over now!! And the theory that I was really obbessing over the fact i killied someone,this theory seems more realistic than what I think I really was obbessing over

Well, that may seem realistic, but the facts do not match up. Even if you did hurt someone, you would not just obsess over it or the possible thoughts of it. Those are all symptoms of OCD and not just memories you are anxious about. If there was a memory of hurting someone, you would have a memory of details, thoughts and interactions. Your memory would not be exact or clear, but you would not be experiencing symptoms of OCD as you are now. You may have a memory and some feelings associated with it. But you would also have facts, including what happened and why there is no evidence of any crime. Your mind would not try to convince you that there was something to worry about and make you feel this anxious over it. What you are describing is clearly OCD symptoms much more than a memory of obsessing over hurting someone.

MaryAnn

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Customer reply replied 6 months ago
Do you think ocd is distorting that hole time frame between 03-07 into what was all ready antixty provoking into something even more antixty provoking

That is possible. However, it is more likely that it is OCD causing the thoughts and feelings you are having from that time as well as now, simply based on your symptoms you are having.

MaryAnn

TherapistMaryAnn
TherapistMaryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 6,011
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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Customer reply replied 6 months ago
Thank you marryann for making me understand.take care

You're welcome! Take care.

MaryAnn

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