Mental Health

Have mental health questions? Ask a psychiatrist online

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

I was in a 29 year marriage and am now separated, with a…

Customer Question
I was in a...

I was in a 29 year marriage and am now separated, with a divorce on the horizon. I never had a "normal" sex life with my husband. I never enjoyed sex or had desire for sexual intercourse with him (except maybe at the very beginning of our marriage. In addition, sexual intercourse with him was very infrequent and uncomfortable.

Doctor's Assistant: Is this your first time reaching out for information about this? In general, how would you describe your overall health?

Overall health is good. I am in menopause; however, I am healthy (except slightly underweight due to a stressful year). People say I look like I am in my late 30s rather than the 52 that I truly am. So...the rest of the issue.,, I now have a partner with whom I am having sexual intercourse. This is a much different experience for me. I am highly attracted to him and we have intimate times almost every day...sometimes even more. The problem is that it takes a very long time for me to become aroused. Sometimes not at all. I am wondering if it is hormonal due to menopause I have sexual desire

Doctor's Assistant: Anything else in your medical history you think the psychologist should know?

I have had a recent pelvic exam and I am healthy Please note that my husband was my first sexual partner This is now my second

Submitted: 3 months ago.Category: Mental Health
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Mental Health Question
Answered in 34 minutes by:
1/2/2018
Mental Health Professional: Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC replied 3 months ago
Linda D.
Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 854
Experience: LMSW, CASAC
Verified

Welcome to JA. My name is ***** ***** I am a licensed psychotherapist in private practice in NYS. I am preparing my reply and will post in one moment.

Ask Your Own Mental Health Question
Mental Health Professional: Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC replied 3 months ago

Hello and thank you for reaching out to Just Answer. It is wonderful to hear that you are enjoying a relationship that may be offering you a more enjoyable sexual relationship than you had with your husband. Arousal is a very different experience for everyone but the process of getting aroused should always be an enjoyable experience, so it’s not like this should feel like a chore! Let your boyfriend know that it may take you longer and ask him to be more supportive of helping you get aroused. Ask if the two of you can spend more time on foreplay before moving on to intercourse. What are your favorite foreplay activities? Kissing? Holding each other? Talking and connecting? Laying in bed naked together? Spend 10-20 minutes going nice and slow, doing the things you enjoy the most. Feel your pleasure and desire gradually building. he will enjoy this too! Other than getting more relaxed and comfortable with your own unique responses and timing, you should also talk to your doctor about whether there could be a decrease in hormones that are affecting your libido. This would require requesting bloodwork to evaluate your progesterone, testosterone primarily as well as the balance to your estrogen. Also remember the physical intimacy with or without an orgasm is what can be so fulfilling and rewarding in our sexual life. I hope this helps. Sincerely, ***** ***** LMSW, CASAC

Ask Your Own Mental Health Question
Customer reply replied 3 months ago
We do spend a lot of time in foreplay...he spends a great deal of time trying to stimulate me orally. My clitoris used to be extra sensitive and now he can work for what seems like an eternity and nothing happens. It is frustrating for me and I am sure for him as well...even though he is patient and giving. I wish there was something that could be done without hormone therapy...
Mental Health Professional: Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC replied 3 months ago

With what you have explained about the commitment you both have to foreplay you may want to go to the next step and talk to your gynecologist. I know HRT does sound like a lot to consider but you are young and healthy and may want to look into some of the newer vaginal creams and gels. May I ask one other possibility? Are you taking any type of psychotropic medications for depression or anxiety? Increase in the mount of alcohol you drink or smoking marijuana, etc. sorry fr such probing questions but these can also affect libido also. Linda

Ask Your Own Mental Health Question
Customer reply replied 3 months ago
Actually, I am not so young - 52 - but feel young in every way. As I said earlier I am in full menopause. Regarding alcohol, cigarettes., meds, etc. I do not partake in any of the above-- my last alcohol consumption was a year ago.
Mental Health Professional: Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC replied 3 months ago

Oh dear woman, I know you are 52 from your post, and I still think that is relatively young, vibrant and healthy to consider HRT, or to at least explore your options with your doctor. I am glad to hear there are no external lifestyle habits or medications that are further complicating your ability to become aroused. I wish there was more I could offer here as a solution, but I do believe the best suggestion I can make is to discuss this with your gynecologist. It is a topic that he/she is familiar with. Sincerely, ***** ***** LMSW, CASAC

Ask Your Own Mental Health Question
Was this answer helpful?
Ask Linda D. Your Own Question
Linda D.
Linda D.
Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 854
854 Satisfied Customers
Experience: LMSW, CASAC

Linda D. is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much

Corrie MollPretoria, South Africa

I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well!

ClaudiaAlbuquerque, NM

Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion.

KevinBeaverton, OR

Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
I feel better already! Thank you.

ElanorTracy, CA

Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem.

JulieLockesburg, AR

You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions.

John and StefanieTucson, AZ

I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!!

Janet VPhoenix, AZ

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

Dr. Keane

Dr. Keane

Therapist

1,379 satisfied customers

Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.

TherapistMarryAnn

TherapistMarryAnn

Therapist

4,021 satisfied customers

Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.

Dr. Olsen

Dr. Olsen

Psychologist

2,336 satisfied customers

PsyD Psychologist

Norman M.

Norman M.

Principal psychotherapist in private practice. Newspaper contributor, over 2000 satisfied clients on JA

2,246 satisfied customers

ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), ECP, UKCP Registered.

Dr. Michael

Dr. Michael

Psychologist

2,177 satisfied customers

Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.

Steven Olsen

Steven Olsen

Therapist

1,728 satisfied customers

More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education

Anna

Anna

Mental Health Professional

1,656 satisfied customers

Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 29 years in addictions and mental health.

< Previous | Next >

Related Mental Health Questions
I've been suffering with server anxiety and agrophobia for 4
Hi, I've been suffering with server anxiety and agrophobia for 4 years. It's ruining my life, I hardly go outside and I never leave the house. My symptoms are, extream brain fog, very bad memory, hot … read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
961 satisfied customers
What are symptoms of anxiety disorder? i have been suffering
What are symptoms of anxiety disorder? i have been suffering from anxiety for some years now. I would frequently have palpitations at night or when lying down. Some years ago I went to cardiologist an… read more
TherapistMarryAnn
TherapistMarryAnn
Therapist
Master's Degree
4,021 satisfied customers
Im having depression and anxiety, but have trouble with
im having depression and anxiety, but have trouble with medications i have. could you recommend some natural supplements that may help?… read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
961 satisfied customers
Need help in sebastian fl. Severe anxiety depression
need help in sebastian fl JA: Have you spoken to a mental health professional about this? Customer: yes JA: How have you been sleeping? Any insomnia or other issues? Customer: yes JA: Anything else in… read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
961 satisfied customers
Separation anxiety after breaking up with a girlfriend. I
Separation anxiety after breaking up with a girlfriend … read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
961 satisfied customers
Anxiety & worry, was on Paxil for 15 years & it quit working
anxiety & worry, was on Paxil for 15 years & it quit working now am on Venlafaxine er for about 6 mo., it is helping but still have set backs with the anxiety, im on 112.5mg, do i need to up my dose t… read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
961 satisfied customers
Thanks for the help... i have high anxiety thats been
thanks for the help... i have high anxiety thats been affecting my eating habits negativles … read more
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik
PSYCHIATRIST ( MD Psychiatry)
Doctoral Degree
204 satisfied customers
Have bad health anxiety but recently so terrified of being
Have bad health anxiety but recently so terrified of being and have schizophrenia. Please help as I need someone to talk to! … read more
TherapistMarryAnn
TherapistMarryAnn
Therapist
Master's Degree
4,021 satisfied customers
I was diagnosed with Severe PTSD, Depression and Anxiety in
I was diagnosed with Severe PTSD, Depression and Anxiety in 2010 spending multiple stints in in-patient care. Since then I have been on CLONAZEPAM 1MG TAB, used to be twice a day and now it is one. SE… read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
961 satisfied customers
My son is currently taking Esitalo for Generalised anxiety
Hi my son is currently taking Esitalo for Generalised anxiety but is also smoking Marijuana. He tried Marijuana several times and it made his anxiety worse but now claims the Esitalo allows him to smo… read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
961 satisfied customers
I need help dealing with my anxiety and depression. It
I need help dealing with my anxiety and depression … read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
961 satisfied customers
My wife has Parkinson's with extremes depression/anxiety. On
My wife has Parkinson's with extremes depression/anxiety. On meds 3 years. 3 weeks ago in just 1 day she declined about 70% right before my eyes when I lost my temper and was yelling at her. That is m… read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
961 satisfied customers
Have anxiety induced sleep disorder. Am on klonopin and
Have anxiety induced sleep disorder. Am on klonopin and seroquel 150 mg and klonopin was raised to 2 mg. First few nights worked great now I'm on my cycle and wide awake but exhausted. Is there anythi… read more
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik
PSYCHIATRIST ( MD Psychiatry)
Doctoral Degree
204 satisfied customers
I'm depressed and have anxiety attacks and panic attacks
I'm depressed and have anxiety attacks and panic attacks about 5 times a day … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
180 satisfied customers
Just been battling with anxiety and I'm trying to not let it
Just been battling with anxiety and I'm trying to not let it win … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
180 satisfied customers
Since childhood I've suffered from general anxiety, but
Since childhood I've suffered from general anxiety, but because mental health issues have a very negative stigma in my family I've never sought treatment. After the recent unexpected death of a family… read more
Bonnie Behee-Semler
Bonnie Behee-Semler
Licenses Psychologist
PhD
9 satisfied customers
I have severe anxiety and just was wondering is there any
Hi. I have severe anxiety and just was wondering is there any ideal diet that contributes to your mental health staying well? Thank you.… read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
961 satisfied customers
I have always dealt with anxiety off and on. However
I have always dealt with anxiety off and on. However sometimes I get in these spells where my anxiety is all consuming for days or weeks at a time. A recent example would be this past year where I had… read more
TherapistMarryAnn
TherapistMarryAnn
Therapist
Master's Degree
4,021 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x