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My husband has suffered from mental health issues for many…

Customer Question
My husband has suffered...

My husband has suffered from mental health issues for many years but never been diagnosed. It is getting worse. He is 54 and has been off an on Zoloft prescribed by his general practitioner. He simply tells the Dr that he has anxiety, but what I see is much more. He is depressed, anxious, paranoid and suspcious. He take himself off the medication without telling anyone. He has major mood swings, with anger. He is quick to anger and lash out verbally. He is starting to not trust anyone, so very paranoid. He was recently put on testosterone by his general Dr and it was a diaster, he became very aggitated and angry. He is now not on those injections per my request to the Dr but still is exhibiting all of the other behavior. He does not quite see reality, he often sees a situation that is inncorrect and also never sees himself having any of the behaviors that he displays. I would like to get him to a psychiatrist for proper diagnosis, but he does not want to go. I'm afraid he is only going to get worse and it's quite difficutlt to live in the same house with a person who has this behavior. Please advise any possible diagnosis and recommendations. thank you

Doctor's Assistant: How long have you been dealing with this? Is there anything in particular that seems to make the symptoms better or worse?

He has been this way for 15 years off and on. Sometimes he is ok and just slightly depressed (when on zoloft). He is triggered by stress, work load, and his own family's dynamics that are difficutl and he works with them

Doctor's Assistant: Anything else in your medical history you think the Psychologist should know?

Those are the main issues

Submitted: 7 months ago.Category: Mental Health
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Answered in 1 hour by:
12/9/2017
Mental Health Professional: Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC replied 7 months ago
Linda D.
Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 870
Experience: LMSW, CASAC
Verified
Hello, my name is***** am a licensed psychotherapist in the state of New York. I will prepare my answer and respond in one moment. Thank you so much for your patience.
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Mental Health Professional: Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC replied 7 months ago
As his partner you have the right to expect that he professionally seeks help for conditions that affect you. Your mental and emotional well being matter. Now that being said have you actually sat down with him and stated your expectation? First, I would like to know if you have taken this assertive role with him. If you have already and he was not able to respect your request, then I would like to discuss your options with you. But that is the first step........I want you to know you are not alone. In my work with couples, I have met other men and women who have also dealt with a spouse who refuses necessary professional help. I look forward to hearing from you. Linda
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Customer reply replied 7 months ago
Thank you Linda. Yes I have stated on many occasions that he seek treatment and have even found great doctors and therapists for him to see. I have also asked him this year to attend couples counseling because he does not take resposibility for himself. I thought this might help him understand the need to seek his own treatment. We also have an 11 year old son. He also goes through drinking episodes, either way too much drinking or none at all. I am not sure if that woudl classify him as an alcoholic but it greatly affects his behavior and his ability to function when he does drink. Over the years of our marriage as I've seen his condition get worse, I have repeatedly asked him to get help and also to not drink. He currenlty is stating that he will not attend couples counseling nor will he get treatment for himself, that "he is fine how he is". I am just trying to take care of myself and our son and am considering separating from him in the next 6 months if he still refuses treatment. It is an unhealthy situation. But i do care for his well being and hope he gets some help.
Mental Health Professional: Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC replied 7 months ago

I give you so much respect for your clarity and inner strength that you are bringing to the relationship It does sound like he has an avoidant personality. It may take you leaving or you getting help for yourself and getting you emotionally and mentally healthier to increase his motivation to do something to save the marriage. He may interpret your continued involvement with him as somehow acceptance. At the very least he has not really had to suffer any significant consequences for his behaviors. Diagnosis of the multitude of behaviors you have shared is very complex and can only be done by gathering significant information face to face with him in several clinical sessions. And it would require him to be honest, especially about the drinking. By the way drinking can intensify mental health disorders such as depression (irritability, anger) , anxiety (agitation), paranoia as well as cause these issues.

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Mental Health Professional: Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC replied 7 months ago

I hear you and know you care about his well being. You have shared a lot of life together and have a child together. But be careful to not enable him, compensate for him or enable his behaviors. Al Anon meetings are excellent for helping to raise awareness of this dynamic in relationships as well as giving support for healthy detachment. There are some excellent books to read to help you also:

Healthy Boundaries in Relationships by Charles Whitfield

Should I Stay or Should I Go by Lundy Bancroft.

Again, you deserve respect, to feel safe and to be well. So does your son. But ultimately you only have control over your decisions. I wish you and your family all the best. If I can help you further, please let me know. I am here for you. Sincerely, ***** ***** LMSW, CASAC

PS Please take a moment to rate my service to you. I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you.

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