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Sexually deprived and feeling repulsive to women. No

Customer Question
Sexually deprived and feeling...

Sexually deprived and feeling repulsive to women

Doctor's Assistant: Have you seen a doctor about this yet? What medications are you taking?

No medications but how can a doctor get me laid

Doctor's Assistant: Anything else in your medical history you think the psychologist should know?

The lack of being desired by women has me locked in depresion

Doctor's Assistant: How long have you been feeling this way? Have you reached out to anyone about this yet?

10+ years. I've talked to friends (both male and female) I've tried many anti-depressants but they have all effected me in bad ways, like increased depression, violence or suicidal thoughts

Doctor's Assistant: I'm sorry if I'm reading you wrong here, but it seems as though you might be considering committing suicide or hurting yourself. Am I right?

No, not now, the anti depressants I've had in the past spured those thoughts

Doctor's Assistant: Okay. Let's try this again. How can I help you?

I'm feeling sexually deprived and repulsive to women

Submitted: 4 months ago.Category: Mental Health
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Answered in 2 hours by:
12/9/2017
Mental Health Professional: Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC replied 4 months ago
Linda D.
Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 854
Experience: LMSW, CASAC
Verified
Thank you for reaching out to Just Answer. I hear your distress. Can you tell me more about yourself so that I can help you better? How long have you felt this way? How old are you? What has been your relationship history? I am here to help, Linda D., LMSW, CASAC
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Customer reply replied 4 months ago
I have felt this way most of my teen and adult life. I am 50, married for 24 years. I have had only 2 sexual partners during my life.
Mental Health Professional: Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC replied 4 months ago

Do you feel sexually repulsive to your wife?

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Mental Health Professional: Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC replied 4 months ago

First, can you tell me do you feel sexually repulsive to your wife?

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Customer reply replied 4 months ago
she has had sex with two other men during our marriage. She stopped seeing either one of them claiming she couldn't bear having me leave her. I have a hard time having sex with her because all I can see in my mind is someone else there. She says that if it will help me feel better about those events, I may find a friend with benefits but even those efforts fail.
Customer reply replied 4 months ago
I've always ended up as just a friend or the big brother role.
Mental Health Professional: Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC replied 4 months ago

That can be so discouraging, but let me say that infidelity in a marriage is not a healthy solution to a couple rebuilding intimacy and affection after trust has been broken. Also women may not be showing a sexual interest in you, not because you are not attractive to them but they may be sensing your insecurity, unavailability and lack of confidence. Have you considered going to therapy with your wife to rebuild your sexual life again? Or even possibly by yourself to rebuild self esteem. Linda

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Customer reply replied 4 months ago
It all seems to be a big circle in my mind.The lessons learned in my formative years trained me sex was only for procreation and not enjoyed or wanted by women. thus the topic of sex created anxiety and insecurity regardless of how much I wanted to explore the possibilities. I need security and confidence to attain sex. But to attain sex, I need sex to feel confident and secure. It drives me mad to hear people say "its just sex." I have absolutely no frame of reference to comprehend that.
Mental Health Professional: Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC replied 4 months ago

Thank you for waiting, I have been helping a few individuals in my practice for the last couple of hours but I am free now to continue our conversation about what you have been going through. You sound very self aware and intelligent, both are excellent qualities to bring to therapy. Therapy is a safe, therapeutic environment to explore these distorted beliefs that you have learned and also a place to challenge negative thinking. I also wonder given your limited sexual partners that you have had, if you need to evaluate who you are and what you really want with woman. Is it simply sex? Is it sex with companionship? What is it you feel you want/need? Linda

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Linda D.
Linda D.
Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 854
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Experience: LMSW, CASAC

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