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Is this a paid service? History of depression and anxiety.

Customer Question
Is this a paid...

Is this a paid service?

Doctor's Assistant: How is your mood? Are you experiencing regular sleep disturbances (e.g. trouble falling asleep, waking up early)?

Yes

Doctor's Assistant: Anything else in your medical history you think the Psychologist should know?

History of depression and anxiety

Doctor's Assistant: How long have you been dealing with this? Is there anything in particular that seems to make the symptoms better or worse?

Past 8 months. Relationship problems make it worse.

Submitted: 2 months ago.Category: Mental Health
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Answered in 25 minutes by:
12/3/2017
Mental Health Professional: Therapist Leslie, Mental Health Professional replied 2 months ago
Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 417
Experience: Owner and Psychotherapist at Self-Employed, Private Practice
Verified

Good evening and thank you so much for your message. I realize it's difficult to reach out. Please know I honor your courage.

My name is ***** ***** I am a psychotherapist in the Metro Boston area of the United States.

I would love to assist you tonight. Can you please let me know your question so I can provide a thorough answer?

I look forward to hearing from you.

Warm regards,

Therapist Leslie

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Customer reply replied 2 months ago
Hi Leslie,
I have been going through a very difficult time this year. I am 31, my relationship of 4 years ended suddenly and in very traumatic circumstances in March. That derailed the submission of my PhD; shortly after I lost a close friend to cancer, and later lost my job because of the depression and anxiety resulting from all the stress. I feel like my whole life fell apart but I have been trying to do my best to deal with my problems. I am in therapy at the moment (but don't have an appointment for a while) and I have a great supportive group of friends. I was not planning to be dating at all this year as I really wanted to prioritise getting my head and my own life in order first. I knew I needed time to regroup and get my life back on track.However, 6 weeks ago, I met a lovely guy while out one night and we really hit it off. He was the first guy since my break up who I connected with on a meaningful level. The interest was obvious and mutual. We started dating and from the first date, it was obvious that we had a lot in common and would never run out of things to talk about. All our dates would go on for hours but it felt like no time had passed at all. He was very open about his excitement at having met me and was clear about his desire to continue to keep seeing me. We also had amazing physical chemistry - we slept together after the 3rd date, and it was wonderful.I was finding it really anxiety-provoking to find myself liking someone so unexpectedly, because it means being vulnerable, and I was terrified of that given I was already in a fragile state. But his interest seemed very genuine and it felt like a waste to turn my back on it because it wasn't the perfect time. So I tried to manage my anxiety as best I could and just relax, and see how it goes. It was all really lovely - we had even met some of each others' friends and both got the "tick of approval".However, after our date last weekend - we had spent a whole beautiful day and night together - I felt a change the following morning. It was still very nice but he seemed a little bit distant. That weighed on me during the week, but we organised another date so I thought things were ok. That subsequent date was also really lovely, but again, I felt like something was different. A couple of days after that date, he messaged me to say he'd like to talk to me, and that what he has to say is hard - I knew right away that it was over. We met up in person, and I really appreciated the respectful and considerate way he handled it as many people these days just "ghost" and don't bother to do the decent thing.He was very apologetic and said he'd spent the whole week thinking about what had changed on his end, because he was genuinely excited about the potential of a relationship with me and isn't really sure why he's gone cold. He said he is confused because the more he's gotten to know me, the more he's grown to like and respect me as a person, but for some reason, the romantic "pull" / spark waned on his end, and it became more of a friendship vibe. He thought that one of the reasons may be that he himself feels a bit lost in life, and when I opened up about feeling lost as well, it made him think that we probably couldn't make each other happy. I find that reasoning strange to be honest - we are both high-achieving people just dealing with some transition - but I didn't want to argue with him or try to convince him to change his mind, so I just listened calmly and thanked him for at least trying to give me answers.I could see that he was genuinely sad as well, and he said that this experience really rattled him because he used to not be very well in touch with his emotions when he was younger but thought he had grown a lot over the last couple of years so was surprised to find himself in this confusing and unexpected position where he couldn't explain his feelings.I know that we weren't seeing each other for a very long time, but it really felt like the start of something beautiful, and I don't doubt for a second that his initial interest was real. So it is really difficult to understand why things changed so suddenly and I am finding it very hard to deal with because it was so difficult to open myself up to it in the first place.I actually don't blame him for not wanting to pursue it because I can understand that my life is in disarray and that that wouldn't be particularly attractive. But I had been open with him from early on about the fact I'd had a rough year (without burdening him with too much detail) and that I needed to take things slowly - and he didn't seem to be put off by that. In fact, he appreciated my honesty and openness. So i am really confused and very distressed right now. I handled it very well during the conversation and he said that my dignity and maturity made him respect me even more. But I am really struggling to understand the sudden change and would greatly appreciate any wisdom you may have to offer
Mental Health Professional: Therapist Leslie, Mental Health Professional replied 2 months ago

Ohhhhh Angela, my heart absolutely breaks for you. So much loss in such a short time! No wonder why you are absolutely spinning!

Sadly I can't say why your partner had a change of heart. I imagine his news was devastating as every part of the relationship felt so easy and natural. It's incredibly rare to find a deep connection and I imagine the loss of this relationship triggered all types of abandonment issues for you.

I also imagine this break up was incredibly devastating as it seemed like the one thing going well in your life....as, of course, you are undergoing massive transition.

I'm unsure of your philosophies but I do believe that endings always make space for better things to come. Somehow you have to believe that things will fall in place in due time and clarity will come.

I'm pleased to hear you are seeking therapy as I believe this will allow you to remain clear while determining next steps moving forward. I imagine it's difficult knowing your appointment won't be for awhile. Please know I am here for you. We can keep this question open or schedule a phone conference if you wish.

Have I answered your question? Is there anything else I can do to assist you further? I want to ensure you are pleased with my service. I also gently request you provide a star rating for me. Of course, we can continue to talk after the rating is provided.

Please take good care of yourself and feel free to contact me with any questions you may have.

Warm regards,

Therapist Leslie

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Mental Health Professional: Therapist Leslie, Mental Health Professional replied 1 month ago

Good afternoon, Angela.

I hope you are doing o.k. I gently request you provide a star rating for my services so I may be compensated. Of course, we can still speak once a rating has been provided.

Thank you so much.

Warm regards,

Therapist Leslie

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Ask Therapist Leslie Your Own Question
Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 417
417 Satisfied Customers
Experience: Owner and Psychotherapist at Self-Employed, Private Practice

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