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My 21 year old son flunked out of college last year so I…

My 21 year old son...
My 21 year old son flunked out of college last year so I told him he had to get a job. He did & to my amazement he landed a career job as a mail carrier. I too am a mail carrier & thanks to the post office I have raised my 2 boys & 2 step children. I have been divorced since 2001 & in July if this year I married & moved out leaving my old house to my 2 boys & my ex stepson . My oldest son is 26 & is also a mail carrier & my stepson is 30 & just mows grass as he is collecting disability from army. The post office is very demanding on new hires in their first year making them work 10 to 12 hour days with only one day off in week & they both hate it but I keep telling them that those hours won't last forever as they can get off overtime list once they become regulars which they will this spring. I learned yesterday through my supervisor that my 21 year old hasn't been to work for about a month & has been ignoring all phone calls & letters from post office. I can still save his job because I have many contacts there because everyone knows I'm a hard worker & have an excellent reputation. I need my son to contact me before tomorrow in order to save his job but he is ignoring all my messages. I pay for everything at house plus I consigned on loans for both their cars. When I moved out it was agreed they would pay me rent as well make all car payments. So far they have only paid me for one month since July. I know I need to kick them out & I will come spring when I put it up for sale. My question is should I try to save my son's job or should I just let him make the biggest mistake in his life & lose out on a career that will have him set for life.
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Answered in 27 minutes by:
11/23/2017
John-Michaels
John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC)
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 980
Experience: 25+ years helping people find solutions...
Verified
As hard as it is, I would let him lose his job....at least if he doesn’t respond to you. If you bail him out he learns nothing. I would also quit paying my kids bills. The reason we rais our kids is to make productive contributing adults out of them. Sometimes their best teacher are failure. I know this is hard. I have two older children that have made me proud. I have an 18 year old I am probably going to to try my theory out on. Lay him learn a valuable lesson, you don’t work, you don’t eat.
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Customer reply replied 8 months ago
Mr. Michaels,Thx so much for your quick response. I did leave something out though & not sure if it's relevant. My son complains he has acid reflux & vomits at work. He has seen a gastroenterologist & he told him to change his diet of pizza & sodas. I told him the same thing but he refuses. I have ibs & have to getup 2 hrs before I need to leave for work to get it out of my system & told him to get up at least an hour before he needs to leave but he refuses to that also. He says because of that plus the demanding work at post office is why he wants to quit.
Well, if you want to get another job, more power to him. He’s an adult now though, and he needs to take care of himself. You have done your part. Now it’ is time for him to do his.
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Customer reply replied 8 months ago
should I give him a timeline to get another job before I take the car back?
I think so. We want to make a point without crippling L I think so. We want to make a point without crippling him. If you Say it, do it though
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Crippling him
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I hope I was a help to you. Will you do me a favor and give me a five star rating for my answer so I can be paid for it. If you have any comments or questions please post them here. I want to help you.Thank you!
John-Michaels
John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC)
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 980
Experience: 25+ years helping people find solutions...
Verified
John-Michaels and 87 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
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Customer reply replied 8 months ago
Thank you sir. I already knew what you would probably say but I just needed to hear from an expert. Have a Happy Thanksgiving!
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