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I have a family member who is aspd. Is there any hope for…

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I have a family...

I have a family member who is aspd. Is there any hope for them.

Doctor's Assistant: How is your mood? Are you experiencing regular sleep disturbances (e.g. trouble falling asleep, waking up early)?

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Submitted: 7 months ago.Category: Mental Health
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Customer reply replied 7 months ago
Has a history of shallow emotional affect, grandiose self esteem; lack of long-range goals; reckless disregard for self and well being of others; puts on a good front, but rarely follows-through with anything. May have psychopathic tendencies. Cannot hold a job. Doesn't seem to care for anyone but himself. We don't know how to get through. He thinks he's Gods gift to the world; he is in reality a moron; an embarrassment to humanity. What can we do? Is there any hope or course of treatment for this person? Please answer immediately if at all possible. Time is of the essence.
Customer reply replied 7 months ago
Can you recommend a course of therapy? Is there anything that will help them?
Customer reply replied 7 months ago
Please, need your help and advice ASAP. This person is a problem to themselves and to others around them.
Answered in 4 hours by:
11/22/2017
Mental Health Professional: Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC replied 7 months ago
Linda D.
Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 870
Experience: LMSW, CASAC
Verified

Welcome to JA. My name is ***** ***** I am a licensed psychotherapist in private practice in NYS. Thank you for waiting for a response, I am preparing my reply and will post in one moment.

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Customer reply replied 7 months ago
ok
Mental Health Professional: Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC replied 7 months ago

Unfortunately as I am sure you are aware individuals with this personality disorder will typically have no compunction in exploiting others in harmful ways for their own gain or pleasure, and frequently manipulate and deceive other people, achieving this through wit and a facade of superficial charm, or through intimidation and violence. They may display arrogance and think lowly and negatively of others, and lack remorse for their harmful actions and have a callous attitude to those they have harmed.Irresponsibility is a core characteristic of this disorder: they can have significant difficulties in maintaining stable employment as well as fulfilling their social and financial obligations, and people with this disorder often lead exploitative, unlawful, or parasitic lifestyles. All this being said it is impossible to maintain any kind of meaningful relationship with a person with aspd. Therapy with trained behavioral specialist to teach behavioral changes can help but the person must be very motivated for change and unfortunately persons with aspd do not think there is anything wrong with them. Very, very frustrating, overwhelming ad painful for family members in this persons life. That is why we recommend that the family members work with a family therapist to learn how to set crucially needed boundaries, lower expeectations and to learn how to protect themselves from emotional, psychological harm.

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Customer reply replied 7 months ago
Wow. This is a close family member, and we have been going through this for awhile; kind of what you said. Setting boundaries seems to be only marginally productive. We are trying desperately for some kind of rehabilitation; have been to counseling with a Christian Counselor but thus far to no avail. Is there anything you can recommend for this--specific counseling; books; learning program, anything else? I came on here looking for answers for our collective problem. Sure hope we can find it.
Mental Health Professional: Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC replied 7 months ago

Sorry if my information was upsetting to you, but as clinical therapists we understand the complexity and seriousness of this disorder. May I ask what your relationship with this family member is? Is it your son or daughter? aunt, etc.?

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Customer reply replied 7 months ago
spouse.
Customer reply replied 7 months ago
Trying to work our way through it; has been difficult.
Customer reply replied 7 months ago
Some days are very good, others not so.
Customer reply replied 7 months ago
I'm getting thanksgiving dinner together ... have to go check on something ... will be away for a few minutes.
Mental Health Professional: Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC replied 7 months ago

Oh dear, I know you must love him and hurt when he is struggling. Do you have children still at home?

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Customer reply replied 7 months ago
1; is there anything you can recommend? There seems to be a lot of care and concern for the children; interpersonally it's sometimes difficult. I"ll BRB
Mental Health Professional: Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC replied 7 months ago

The best thing to do is to educate yourself with books about Personality Disorders. One of my favorite books is I Hate You Don't Leave Me written for family members of a person with a personality disorder. The other is to seek counseling in a safe environment where you can gain support and guidance from a person trained in personality disorders. I must help another client for 30 minutes in my practice but will return asap. I am here for you. Linda

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Customer reply replied 7 months ago
ok. Some days better than others, but ty.
Mental Health Professional: Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC replied 7 months ago
but you must be careful about your expectations. Believe he is doing the best he can, but he is mentally and emotionally sick and also needs compassion. And take it one day at a time, taking really good care of yourself and your child. Family therapy for you and your child (if over the age of 8) would provide you with support and tools to cope. But please realize he is going to be very limited in what he can bring to you and your child. You simply want to minimize the damage. I'm truly sorry.
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Customer reply replied 7 months ago
you think there's no real hope? Some days seem good.
Mental Health Professional: Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC replied 7 months ago
I'm sorry if he has aspd there is no cure and no hope for real behavioral changes.
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Mental Health Professional: Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC replied 7 months ago
It is hard to say that but it is a very serious disorder that affectis relationships negatively.
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Customer reply replied 7 months ago
He's always good to the kids and me most of the time. Just a little weird sometimes.
Mental Health Professional: Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC replied 7 months ago
Absolutely don't give up on him, but do educate yourself. May I ask who diagnosed him with aspd?
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Customer reply replied 7 months ago
Nobody, just seems that way.
Customer reply replied 7 months ago
Nobody, just seems that way from actions.
Mental Health Professional: Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC replied 7 months ago
I see. I truly wish you, your husband and family all the best. I must go now, but if I can ever help you again, please let me know. I would also appreciate you taking a moment to rate my service to you. Thank you. Best regards, ***** ***** LMSW, CASAC
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Customer reply replied 7 months ago
Anything you can do to help would be appreciated. Any spiritual advice would be welcomed.
Mental Health Professional: Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC replied 7 months ago

I am glad you mentioned spiritual advice. I believe in the power of faith and prayer to provide wisdom, insight and comfort. I would suggest that you start saying the Serenity Prayer, it is perfect for your situation. I hope you have a peaceful, special day with your family today. Linda

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Customer reply replied 7 months ago
What is the serenity prayer I never heard of it
Mental Health Professional: Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC replied 7 months ago

God grant me the Serenity to Accept the Things I can not Change, the Courage to Change the Things I Can and the Wisdom to Know the Difference.

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