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Marryann I have been telling myself all day 'I would

Hi marryann I have been...
Hi marryann I have been telling myself all day 'I would remember a such an a event thank you!! But just still stuck on a few memories I haveI use to tell my dad everything one time I went into the garage to tell him something but I could not get it out what I wanted to sayI remember July 2003 coming back from holiday whilst In the queue to check in back to England I remember thinking I wonder if the police is outside?Can ocd make me believe I carried this weight around with Me? See all this more than my real memories? If you can't remember something clearly can ocd really gives its version?
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Answered in 41 minutes by:
11/21/2017
TherapistMaryAnn
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You are very welcome! It is true that if such an event occurred, you would have a memory of it and a clear one.

When you went to talk to your father and could not get out what you wanted to say, that does not mean there was anything bad to tell him. Other people experience the same thing every day. It does not mean there was anything significant you needed to say, just trouble communicating. Sometimes all of us struggle to get thoughts out, even everyday things we need to say to others. And most people have days where they have trouble all day expressing themselves or get tongue tied. That is very normal and not a sign of anything to worry about.

Your thoughts and concern about the police being around when you were checking back in to England is also part of OCD. No doubt, you have seen the police and been around them many times since 2003 and nothing has happened. That is because it is the OCD telling you that there is something to worry about but in reality there is nothing to be arrested for. You have not done anything but the OCD is trying to make you feel otherwise by making you aware that the police might be there to get you.

The weight you feel from the worry and concern is the OCD. And many times, I have talked with people who feel just as you do, concerned and anxious that they have done something or will do something horrible. They carry the same weight, as awful and insidious as it is. Anxiety disorders cause people to feel an overwhelming worry and burden because of the way they show themselves- through constant worry, physical symptoms, focus on difficult and distressing thoughts and very little if any break from these thoughts. OCD can also try to convince you that these thoughts are real memories. But lacking details, having no clear memory and more anxiety than facts tells you that this is OCD and not something real. There is nothing wrong with you, but OCD makes you feel that there is something wrong.

MaryAnn

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Customer reply replied 8 months ago
Hi marryann...thank you for the detailed response....i would to share with you the following once I had a thought did I kiss my work colleague in the staff toilets 5 years ago...the reason I got over this thought and new it was just a thought because I would of thought about it after the so called event!! But this obsession at the moment is so different no event but visualise myself thinking about something I done in the past?

You're welcome!

That is how OCD works. It changes to find ways to make you feel anxious about something and you cannot think your way out of it. By making you think there was something in your past that you did, you have to worry about every lost memory around that time or anytime you daydream being a sign that you did something wrong. OCD thinking makes you feel anxious and in order to feel that way, you have to have a time where there is a question about what happened. By making your thoughts go to the past, it tries to convince you that there was something there because most people cannot recall the past with perfect clarity, so memories become elusive. By making you focus on the past, OCD thoughts can make you think there was something you did and bring on anxiety as a result. The truth is there is nothing you did, but the thoughts try to convince you that there was something there by counting on your memory not being perfect.

MaryAnn

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Customer reply replied 8 months ago
I understand marryann,so by latching onto memories where I remember thinking obsessing about something even though this is true and can't remember actually what was running through my mind ocd will give a false misleading version

Exactly. OCD is going to "fill in" those thoughts and memories with something bad happening, rather than what really happened, which was most likely something every day and common. OCD will try to use the logic part of your mind and tell you that since you cannot remember exactly what you were thinking, then it must have been something bad when that could not be further from the truth. But every day thoughts don't make you anxious, and since OCD is an anxiety based diagnosis, there has to be something to be anxious about.

MaryAnn

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Customer reply replied 8 months ago
Throughout 2003-2007 I was obsessing over something that happened in 2003,so this could be just another ocd thought I had in 2003 that made me obsess all that time, if so I no what that ocd thought would of been (also harm related)

That is very possible. If you had something you felt focused on and it was not easy to let go, then that could have created a pattern where you worried about that plus your mind went back to it over and over as time went on just to say "hey, this is something to worry about".

MaryAnn

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Customer reply replied 8 months ago
Last thing marryann,so ocd memories can feel more real than your real memories

OCD memories can convince you that they are more real than actual memories, but that does not mean they are more real. Just like general anxiety can convince someone there is something to fear in an elevator, airplane or in a closed in space. That is why OCD is hard to deal with- it convinces you that things are something they are not. So you worry that you did something wrong and OCD tries to convince you that you "remember" that something happened. In order to do that, your thoughts have to seem real and convincing. But the evidence that something really did occur is simply not there.

MaryAnn

TherapistMaryAnn
TherapistMaryAnn, Therapist
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Satisfied Customers: 6,000
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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Customer reply replied 8 months ago
You have been wonderfull marryann...thank you for all your support!! I can not thank you enough!!

You are very welcome! I'm so glad I can help and be there for you.

Take care!

MaryAnn

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Customer reply replied 8 months ago
Marryann I forgot to mention can I go ahead

Sure!

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Customer reply replied 8 months ago
Thank you...in the present has you no I feel like a murderer!! So don't feel worthy of celebrating Christmas etc now I can visualise everything just mentioned above in the past!

If I understand, you are saying that because of your thoughts, you feel like you murdered someone and therefore you don't feel worthy of celebrating Christmas. Is that right?

MaryAnn

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Okay, that is a bit different than the original presenting question and usually would be treated as a separate inquiry. However, we can address it here briefly.

In order to feel unworthy of celebrating the holiday you would have had to actually have done something bad. But you didn't. That is where this feeling is incorrect. While it is understandable that you would feel that way because of the OCD symptoms, there is no reason to feel you are doing anything wrong. It is the OCD telling you that there is something wrong, not that there is something actually wrong. So it is a symptom related to OCD and nothing more than that.

MaryAnn

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Customer reply replied 8 months ago
Thank you marryann...thank you so much

You're welcome! No problem!

Take care,

MaryAnn

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