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I discovered my husband of 28 yrs had emotional affair w/

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I discovered my husband...

I discovered my husband of 28 yrs had emotional affair w/ another woman who was also married. The nite I discovered the affair, I informed her I was going to her workplace in a. M. to confront her. After confronting her about affair, I obtained cell phone records & it showed he called her twice to warn her I was on my way to confront her. I asked him why he called her, he responded he didn't want a " scene" to be made @ her job!? He told me NOONE should ever go to ones workplace & confront someone on this topic! What is your opinion??

Doctor's Assistant: Have you seen a doctor about this yet? What medications are you taking?

Yes, Wellbutrin & pristiq.

Submitted: 7 months ago.Category: Mental Health
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Answered in 7 hours by:
11/21/2017
Mental Health Professional: LeahMSWuofm, Clinical Social Worker replied 7 months ago
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm, Clinical Social Worker
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1,108
Experience: 10 years post-MSW experience
Verified

Hi, thank you for writing. My name is***** am sorry to hear about your husband having this affair. I want you to know there are no rules when it comes to how one chooses to confront something like this assuming violence isn't the response. If you felt that confronting her at work was the best thing to do given what you knew about the situation, then you had the right to choose that course of action. This is especially true given you slept on the decision so it wasn't done totally impulsively.

As far as your husband - he probably doesn't want to see this women's job threatened over his choices and I can understand that. But him telling you NOONE should do that - that was probably a deflection so he had something to be upset with you about, but also an expression of his care for this person or at least concern for her well-being (if only financially). I know that is hard to hear given this affair just occurred, but if he didn't care about her, he may not have bothered to warn her and blaming it on some "rule" of conduct seems like a bit of a cover.

I am here to chat more about this if you'd like,

Leah

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Mental Health Professional: LeahMSWuofm, Clinical Social Worker replied 7 months ago

Hi, just checking back since I note this question is still open without a rating. Can I help further? Just let me know!

-Leah

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