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OKMH1120211 POSTANSWER What may help most? A woman is

OKMH1120211 POSTANSWER What may help...

OKMH1120211 POSTANSWER What may help most ? A young woman is staying with us who just escaped from what sounds like a terrible situation of emotional abuse and subjugation. The man she was traveling with somehow managed to subdue her with threats and bravado, of abandonment, while he passed himself off as being omnipotent, able to have her deported, ''sued '' but never did define for what nor how, until finally she managed to get away from him. Olivia came to stay with us in a work away situation and has been wonderful with us but still wakes up crying and afraid. No - this man does not know where she is nor is any physical threat that we perceive to her. She is regurgitating her experience over and over , somehow can not free herself from the emotional clutches of the emotional abuse she suffered. I suggested taking Zoloft for a month or two until she can regain her emotional well being but what else can we say ? or do ? that may help this young woman see the light of reality of her now safe situation. She is focusing on anger, revenge . She also has a vaginal infection - doubtless contacted from this man Jamal, but she has gone to a gynecologist and has proper medication now , using it ok. I do understand what she is experiencing but same time also that she allows this abuse to continue by doing it to herself. If there are any words of wisdom to tell her, I would like to know. Olivia is a nice person, bright, intelligent and with a soft but good heart from all we know of her. She is young - in her 30 's - I have lived 3 of her lifetimes and been there and done that myself. I appreciate any kind advice now. Gina

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Answered in 14 minutes by:
11/20/2017
John-Michaels
John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC)
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 953
Experience: 25+ years helping people find solutions...
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I ma so sorry she has experienced this. It is so good she has you. This fellow is a loser. He preys on the weak. She needs to forgive him though. the only person she hurts by holding a grudge is herself and those who care about her. He doesn't care. She needs to focus on the good in her life. What is she good at? maybe if she could get a job where she can prove to herself that she is capable. She also needs to take note of the positive in her life. She has you to care for her. That is a definite positive. Does this make sense?

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Customer reply replied 6 months ago
I have been telling her the same in so many ways, but she holds on tight to what happened to her, his nasty, abuse, the see-saw good cop/ bad cop he played with her. She sent me some thing saying this exactly describes his behavior, still I try to tell her that so long as she holds on to all of this , that she is allowing him to continue his abuse of her , that she is still tied to him but now with fear still. She still feels the fear she says. She wants to ''sue '' him for her vaginal infection and the emotional abuse and will not recognize that this is futile. Wondering if there is anything I can even say to her at this point to reach her and open her eyes to now, that she is still allowing this man to abuse her even thought he is not in her life now. This is what she sent me, I knew of course but not about an actual organization like this. This is very much for real.'''*** Blanc tweeted a chart used by support groups to identify signs of domestic abuse and commented: “May as well be a checklist… #HowToMakeHerStay”.blanctweetThe hashtag #KeepJulienBlancOutOfCanada was used on Twitter and petitions posted by Canadian actress Maria Del Mar and broadcaster Kate Wheeler collected a combined 156,000 signatures.The Canadian government took notice and promised to look at tools to ban Blanc from entering the country. Then-Citizenship and Immigration Minister ***** ***** called Blanc’s material “completely counter to Canadian values and common decency.”In November 2014, Blanc apologized during an interview on CNN.
Customer reply replied 6 months ago
She actually sent this to me - she is embroiled still under his abuselhttps://www.google.de/amp/s/popgoesthenews.com/2016/05/19/controversial-pick-up-artist-company-still-active-in-canada/amp/
It is sad that people like this are running loose. I believe we can both understand her frustration. The fact is though her anger and unforgiveness does her no good. Until she lets go of it, you are correct, she is under his control. I believe you have done more than Kim the Nen I believe you have done more than Could be expected. The decision is now hers.
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I hope I was a help to you. Will you do me a favor and give me a five star rating for my answer so I can be paid for it. If you have any comments or questions please post them here. I want to help you.Thank you!
John-Michaels
John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC)
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 953
Experience: 25+ years helping people find solutions...
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John-Michaels and 87 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
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Customer reply replied 6 months ago
Is there anything I could say that may get through better about her letting this go ? I understand all too well what is going on. And thanks. Gina
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John-Michaels
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