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Marryann,can I talk with you again? Has you know my memories…

Hi marryann,can I talk with...
Hi marryann,can I talk with you again? Has you know my memories are based around what I thought and felt regarding the past!! My memories between Oct 2008-june 2009 I no what I was obsessing thinking about it was a thought I hit a person over with my car!! I no I was thinking about this but in 2003-2007 I was obsessing over either a thought or a real event I don't get why make me believe I was obsessing over killing someone if I can't remember?
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Customer reply replied 7 months ago
I have memories like the following 2001 July time I fell out with a friend,whilst at a party I was thinking about that!Went to a car show gathering in May 2007 I was thinking at the show about how I got my wind mirror smacked of etc etcNo memories of killing anyone but I visualise myself thinking about it between 2003/2007?
Answered in 2 hours by:
11/20/2017
TherapistMaryAnn
TherapistMaryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5,987
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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Hello! No problem. Anytime you want to talk, I'm here.

If you are visualizing yourself thinking about an incident, then that is evidence that it was OCD and not anything else. Since there is a history of the same kinds of thoughts and you have them repeatedly, with absolutely no evidence that anything happened to you or anyone else, then this is about OCD.

When something happens that is traumatic, most people have a memory of the event. It may not be a full, detailed memory, but it is clear that the event occurred. Also, there are witnesses and a victim(s). There are police reports, evidence and other indicators that an incident occurred. In your situation, you have thoughts about something happening, but no details, no witnesses, no police and no solid evidence something did occur. And you have had more than one thought about something in your past occurring, which would never happen without some indication of solid evidence. What you do have is fears, uncertainty and thoughts that make you feel like something happened. That is very distressing and anxiety provoking, which is all evidence of OCD symptoms.

While you can have thoughts, these thoughts are OCD and nothing more. You are describing very common symptoms of OCD. As a therapist, I have talked to many people who have the exact symptoms you do, sometimes about other situations, but the same symptoms. They are fearful they are going to do something or did something that is awful. They feel distressed and have anxiety over their thoughts. The same as you feel.

Try some deep relaxation techniques to help you feel calmer and in more control over your thoughts. Remember to tell yourself that you are okay, nothing happened and that many of these thoughts are probably triggered by emotional upset or situations that are difficult. Write down what your thoughts to help you feel more in control. Repeat as needed. Also try distracting yourself. Take a walk, talk to someone, watch a movie, make a special meal, etc. It helps to counteract the distress from the thoughts.

MaryAnn

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Customer reply replied 7 months ago
Thank you marryann,you are so kind!! I have no memory right here right now,but I have my mind right now telling me I previously did know does memories even work like this can you have a memory then suddenly BAM gone?
Customer reply replied 7 months ago
But I do remember obsessing about something throughout 2003/2007 I can only think it must of been that I was obbessing about!!

You are very welcome!

Yes, memories can work the way you describe. You can have flashes of memory, remember only certain parts of a memory or not remember at all. However, if the event was traumatic, memory is more vivid and is processed differently. It is highly unlikely that you would go through a traumatic event then suddenly have the memory disappear. No matter what you felt obsessed about in the past or currently, a memory of a traumatic event would present very differently than a feeling or thought about something you feel obsessed about or something you once remembered then forgot. The two are very different. So your mind telling you that you have a memory is more about OCD than anything possibly happening. If you did anything or had a traumatic event, you would not have your thoughts telling you that you forgot a memory. That happens with OCD but not with traumatic events.

I'm so sorry, but I have to be off for a few hours due to obligations. I will check back as soon as I can in case you want to continue our conversation.

MaryAnn

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Customer reply replied 7 months ago
Sorry marryann I'm confused so you can have a memory (that you had for years) then suddenly disappear?
Customer reply replied 7 months ago
I remember once I hit a wing mirror of a car and obsessed about this for months the image of me hitting the mirror off!!But when I look at the memories like sat in a works meeting not listening to my manager because something was playing on my mind I get a instant thought that I must of been thinking about a murder I committed so I visualise a made up murder and relive that time when I was sat in the meeting and it feels right

No you cannot have a memory suddenly disappear. What I said was that it is highly unlikely that you would go through a traumatic event then suddenly have the memory disappear. Memories of traumatic events do not disappear. So if something did happen to you and you could remember it, that memory would not just disappear.

If you had a memory of hitting a mirror on another car and that memory sticks with you, then other memories of more traumatic events would stay as well.

More than likely when you are in a meeting at work and your mind wanders, the OCD is going to try to fill your mind with thoughts that you were thinking about something bad. That is how OCD works. It is also why OCD is related to anxiety. You try to let your mind wander but instead, you are dealing with anxious thoughts about something bad happening that you cannot remember. OCD is going to take the opportunity to tell you that if you try to relax and let your mind wander, then it must have meant it was about something bad. More than likely, you simply were daydreaming, just like anyone would.

MaryAnn

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Customer reply replied 7 months ago
Thank you so much marryann!! I understand you now,thank you for making me understand

You're welcome! Anytime.

Take care,

MaryAnn

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Customer reply replied 7 months ago
Thank you for everything marryann!!

You are so welcome. I'm happy to help!

My best to you,

MaryAnn

TherapistMaryAnn
TherapistMaryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5,987
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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