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My Daughter inlaw is 36 and has been anorexic since the age…

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My Daughter inlaw is 36...
My Daughter inlaw is 36 and has been anorexic since the age of fourteen. I have 2 granddaughters that have issues with food. the 12 year old is obesessed with food and is 30 pounds over weight, and told by a doctor to loose 20 pounds. My 9 year old is tall and thin like her mother and has no energy on food and refuses to eat most of the time. My son and daughter in law are now divorced and she moved away and we rarely see the children. However I can see through photos that my 12 year old GD is hacing issues. My daughter in law (ex) denies she is still anorexic and has gained 50 pounds, however she posted a photo on instgram at Halloween and is still very thin. her days are consumed with working out and yoga while photgraphing herself. I am so fearful for what is is doing to these little girls. No one will listen to me.
Submitted: 8 months ago.Category: Mental Health
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Customer reply replied 8 months ago
This is a letter written by her sister in law a registr nurse. All family member on bothe sides got on board to force her to get help... which of course was never followed through on
Answered in 15 minutes by:
11/13/2017
Mental Health Professional: LeahMSWuofm, Clinical Social Worker replied 8 months ago
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm, Clinical Social Worker
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1,110
Experience: 10 years post-MSW experience
Verified

Hi, my name is***** for writing. I am very sorry to hear of this situation and imagine ity is tearing you apart. Very likely your instincts are correct that the mother of these children is having a strong influence on the way they think and feel about their health and bodies. As you note, you do have the options of attempting to go through the courts to try to have your son receive more parenting rights. That can be a tough battle to win, though, as their is a strong burden to prove harm or neglect of the children. If you have the ability, please try to collect what you perceive to be evidence of the damage that is being done to the children as part of the case and ensure your son has a lawyer to help.

As for what you can do now...you can try to make any and all efforts to retain a relationship with these children out of the grasp of their mother. Consider becoming "penpals" or setting up a set date when you get the girls all to yourself (e.g. a lunch date every other Sunday). Your continuing to be a positive role model will help balance the other messages they may be receiving at home. If you do not have the direct ability to influence spending time with them, consider offering financial support to enroll them in classes/clubs/camps that will allow them opportunities to be around other children and other supportive adults who can again, instill more of the "love yourself" messages which I agree are highly important. Also, counseling certainly sounds like ti would be in their best interest, althgouh i don't see this going very far unless court-mandated.

Do you have anyone who may attest to any difficulties the children are having, maybe in school? Has your son sought input about their well-being from sources outside of their home?

I am here to chat more about this if you'd like!

-Leah

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