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I need some help regarding my marriage :-/ We have been

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Hi, I need some help...

Hi, I need some help regarding my marriage :-/ We have been together for 9 years, married for 6, and have a beautiful little boy who will be 5 in Jan. He is a chiropractor and life coach who works from home, and I am a freelance singer. For the most part, we have a good marriage, and are doing a good job raising our son. We never had any trust issues until 2014, when I stumbled across a couple of emails between him and one of his (now ex) clients. She signed off the email "Sending soft kisses and warm hugs and gentle love xxx", which I found to be highly inappropriate and hurtful because he hadn't responded with anything to let her know that it wasn't OK. Apparently it was completely innocent, and I chose to believe him that nothing happened. (Bit of backstory: I initially met him as a client and we became friends, staying for coffee after sessions etc. 6 months later he asked to not be my doctor anymore...) Fast forward to earlier this year: Since becoming a life coach, there is one female client of his that makes me very uncomfortable. (She is married to a man who apparently isn't incredibly supportive, with 2 kids) His sessions with her were getting longer and longer. He was eventually scheduling 2 hours with her and not charging her for a double-session. Then one day he "bumped into her" at the shops and they went for lunch. We saw a counselor about it and he realised he was acting unprofessionally and agreed to keep it professional and gradually see less of her, as she was doing quite well. One day her session was again 90 minutes, and I expressed my unhappiness immediately via Whatsapp - he didn't talk to me for 2 days. Now, they are working on a project together, where he will give a talk on stress and stress management to corporate clients, followed by a guided meditation by her (she is into yoga and is a recki practitioner). This doesn't sit well with me. Add to all of this we never really talk because he is always playing "Kings of Avalon" on his iPad, even though he has admitted he has an addictive personality and can't regulate himself when it comes to games, so I am left feeling lonely and resentful. She gets hours upon hours of focused, meaningful, quality time with him, and I am little more than his housemate. Am I crazy for not being OK with any of this? Am I being a jerk by wanting him to not be involved with her thereby possibly stunting his growth if they don't do this project together? Where do I draw the line to try and preserve my marriage whilst keeping balance? Help :-( Lonely Housemate

Submitted: 9 months ago.Category: Mental Health
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Answered in 5 hours by:
9/22/2017
Mental Health Professional: John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC) replied 9 months ago
John-Michaels
John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC)
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 954
Experience: 25+ years helping people find solutions...
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No, I believe your concerns are totally in line with his actions. While there is nothing here to cause one to assume he has crossed the line physically with her, there is plenty to say his relationship is inappropriate.As a side note, I would question his ethics in how you entered into a relationship with him. In my profession I believe there is a several year waitibg period before a counselor can enter into a romantic/intimate relationship with a former client.Entering into a business partnership with a client would be unethical in my profession. I assume it would be in his. He seems to have entered into a dual relationship with this client.As far as your actions, I would demand a change. He needs to end his relationship with this client altogether. He has already crossed the line on her.If making these demands threaten your relationship with him, your relationship was not that secure to begin with.I believe you need to seek marriage counseling. You have much to work through that would be difficult for you to do on your own.
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Mental Health Professional: John-Michaels, Counselor (LPC) replied 9 months ago
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