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After the birth of my baby my husband it felt like had went…

After the birth of my...
After the birth of my baby my husband it felt like had went absolutely insane. His behavior changed so drastically for the worse that I suspect he is suffering from severe mental health issues. He became angry constantly, aggressive, stated that he would "f**k me up", tried to trip me at night while I got up to nurse the baby, he would not let me put the bassinet near my side of the bed so I could have easy access to nurse my son, he would not let me join a breastfeeding mom's group at the lactation center because he stated that I cannot take the baby to random places, he would never let my mom come over to help me etc...he claims that everything is harassment when spoken to, he wanted to change the diaper like every 15 minutes, he would always say he is hungry every 10 minutes even if the baby did not exhibit any signs of hunger, he would also make statements saying that I can f**k off and he and my son would be just fine without me(very odd),
In April when my dad came to visit his grandson and I was going to my mom's frequently with my baby- he showed up at my mom's home and harassed her verbally after which we told him he was unwelcome here due to his behavior, then my dad and I went back to the apartment to grab his sunglasses he threw a bunch of metal objects at us for which I called the police. They did not arrest him. 1 month later he filed for sole custody and is now fighting for custody of my 6 month old son. He also filed a false DV case against me where he lied and said that the baby was in danger and needed to be hospitalized when this was untrue and a complete lie. The magistrate believed him and gave out the order to rip my infant from the breast. All of these among other facts show that he is suffering from severe mental health issues and should not be around my son. At a doctor's appointment for baby this week, he walked out of the room with my son much to the surprise of the doctor and I and stated that "the baby feels claustrophobic"- how crazy. He must have felt claustrophobic himself. It was obvious. He cannot take the least bit of criticism for anything . He constantly blames me and argues over every little single thing and accuses me of taking bad care when this is false because I take excellent care of my baby. He accuses me of yelling when I do not yell. When I ask him questions regarding child care like when did my son eat etc when did he sleep he says can you not ask me questions like this and gets angry. Yesterday I asked him that I would like to bring my son 45 minutes later for the custody exchange today because I need to make up my parenting time since he is consistently late to the exchanges and I always have to wait for him in my car he argued and made paranoid statements about how I'm trying to take my son somewhere away from him- crazy ,Is it possible he is now suffering from a severe mental disorder and this was sparked by the birth of our son? When he was born he would not leave the house for weeks and sat around the bassinet like a hawk. It was not normal behavior for a father. He also refuses to work. He has not had a job in 3 years.
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Answered in 52 minutes by:
9/17/2017
Linda D.
Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 870
Experience: LMSW, CASAC
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Welcome to JA. My name is ***** ***** I am a licensed psychotherapist in private practice in NYS. I am preparing my reply and will post in one moment.

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Oh my dear woman, you have been and are going through so much due to your husbands behavior which yes, sounds like he is struggling with mental illness. His symptoms and need to be is such extreme control an also the paranoid/delusional quality of his perceptions make me think of PTSD. Like the birth of his child triggered something very deep within him. Have you been receiving support and guidance from a mental health specialist yourself so that you can take care of your well being through all of this? Linda D.

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Customer reply replied 10 months ago
Hi there- yes lots happening! I'm doing good though and hanging in there. I have a family counselor who is a wonderful woman and I have explained to her the actions of my husband as well. She also suspects something is up with him.
I also wanted to add that he has very poor hygiene- he is frequently unkempt, bad breath, etc... his car is and always was a mess as well as his closet. Just filth all around and he does not see a problem with it. Also, he video records all of our meetings to add to the paranoid delusional quality and only focuses on his camera frequently playing with it and adjusting it. Did I mention he puts size 3T clothing on our 6 month old which is an extreme hazard? He put this huge hoodie on him and while getting him out of the car the other day my baby's face was completely covered with the hood, he wasn't moving nor breathing. Ex did NOT EVEN FLINCH. He drove like that with him for 15 mins. I'm worried about the safety of my child in his care.
Customer reply replied 10 months ago
At first when we split up I asked if he wanted to do marriage and family counseling he said yes but never made any effort to follow through. When I finally got him to come to an appointment he arrived 30 minutes late and didn't want to discuss anything. Later that day, I was served with the divorce papers and his claim for sole custody. This truly makes me believe that the marriage was not even genuine and that he may have used me as a surrogate, I know that sounds crazy but all his actions and lack of desire to work on the marriage makes it seem like all he wanted was to take the baby. He WAS present at the birth and I am thinking this probably severely affected his mental status because on several occasions when we are together with our child he acts as if he is the mom - shooing me away from my son, hovering, etc...
It is not normal behavior. I even said to him, do you think you gave birth to him or something? He ends up saying things like "Don't you even dare say that I'm not a great father!". I said give yourself a chance to prove you are great. His arrogance is extreme. He sees nothing wrong with his impudent behavior. He suffers from a bit of narcissism too.

You are honestly fortunate to have left the marriage because he truly sounds incapable of being a healthy, stable partner to you. Have you shared with a family lawyer your concerns about this mental health and how it may put the child's safety at risk?

Linda D.
Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 870
Experience: LMSW, CASAC
Verified
Linda D. and 87 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
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Customer reply replied 10 months ago
I am currently a pro se litigant!

Good, I am grateful you have the supports in place to help you get through this. Please take good care of yourself and know that you are not alone. I wish you all the best. Sincerely ***** ***** LMSW, CASAC

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