Good evening and thank you so much for your message. I realize it's difficult to reach out. Please know I honor your courage.
My name is ***** ***** I am a psychotherapist in the Metro Boston area of the United States.
Ohhhh dear, I can absolutely understand how your heart breaks for her each time she is rejected. I imagine the pain she has felt from her Dad's behavior is very similar and sadly being rejected from concert choir triggers this same emotion.
My recommendation would be to work closely with her therapist ensuring she can learn to separate these two types of rejection.
In terms of what you can do I highly recommend you provide realistic feedback in regard to her auditions and performances such as, "Wow, you really nailed that piece tonight--especially the chorus where I know you were initially struggling." Or, "I understand why you are upset about your audition. I realize it wasn't your strongest performance." By telling her every performance is perfect and flawless, you don't provide the feedback she will hear throughout her musical career. It's a fine balance between encouraging strength and feeding an ego.
If your daughter does decide to pursue musical theater or dancing, she will unfortunately be faced with a significant amount of rejection as it's the nature of the business. More often than not, the rejection will have nothing to do with her personally and she has to learn to develop a hardened shell around the audition process.
I too, pursued a music degree and traveled this same path so please know this comes from professional experience as well as my psychological background
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